A lot has happened in the last month. I got a call on a Friday afternoon from H's new attorney, telling me I had to appear for an ex parte hearing @ 8:30am Tuesday morning, leaving me no time to get L in order. We both had used attorneys without actually retaining them.
Spent all the time preparing myself to go against H & his L. Judge said it looked like H wanted a "second bite of the apple," although gave him a 1 time private mediation, instead of unlimited, "until we come to terms" that he requested.
Handing over almost $20,000 (borrowed) to my attorney for my retainer, spending a good chunk of that meeting with "my team" @ $1,000 an hour, finding out that it's still up to me to get everything together for my response to his 51 pg motion. It finally caught up to me. My immune system took a dive. I spent this last week fighting off several infections, one of which I caused myself by running into a stucco wall on my son's bike, the other's, like strep throat, prolly due to stress.
All of this happened when I went into no contact. No seeing, emailing, calling for any reason...all goes thru a 3rd party, if it needs to be addressed at all. Most of what he wants is due to that change. He wants the court to order that he gets to coming here for drop-offs, that I talk to him personally to discuss schedules, and even that we have birthday parties for S7 planned & held together.
I'm not backing down & going back to the way it was.
Here it is, over 3 years later, and I'm still dealing with this crap.
Big mistakes I made;
-Taking H up on his 1st offer @ reconcilation immediately, letting him know I was still in his back pocket, without his ending the A first.
-Not letting him go free soon enough, and moving on with my life.
-Letting the constant contact continue.
I could continue, I know it's pretty common knowledge around here what the cause & effects are, although when I first found this site there didn't seem to be as many wise "voices" as there are now, especially cases with infidelity included. Who knows, maybe I just didn't notice them
Those who now have "the crew," are blessed (if they allow themselves to be.)
