Then he said that he doesn't think that his dream career he wants to pursue will make him fulfilled because it's not something important to most and that only few best people actually make a difference....
I want to tell him that it's not true that only the best people make a difference and that what matters is that what he would be doing will be important to him.
Hi ris, I think if my H told me that, rather than disagreeing with him (even though your viewpoint sounds more accurate...) I think I would say something like...'H, tell me more about that. Why do you think your dream career isn't important to most?' It sounds like he's feeling fairly low in self-esteem about this issue; yes reassurance can help, but what he needs most is someone helping him to come to those positive conclusions himself, not offering them for him.
You being there with supportive 'tell me more about that', statements to help him get down to the root cause of why he's feeling the way he is, will enable him to counter those distorted thoughts and beliefs he has.
Have you read any good books that deal with issues like this in communication? If you're interested I could suggest 'Hold me Tight' by Dr Sue Johnson; Also, 'Messages' by Matthew McKay, and the one I'm in the middle of right now is 'Just Listen' by Dr Mark Goulston. I think you'd find them all really helpful, and they all seem to have useful exercises to try.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
