sa, that bites about the rained out show. That's a lot of time and effort for naught! the only good thing is more experience for the baby. Hope you're getting dried out by now. I just had a load of screenings brought in and rebuilding the horse runs. Just in time for them to fill up for a clinic here.
Weighing in on exposing - I did expose when I blundered into the knowledge of H's ow. I believe had I not done that their plans of her leaving her H and getting her place and my H leaving me and getting his place and then as time passed they would just - walla! find each other and live happily ever after. By exposing to the few people I did ruined the clever plan.
I also believe it prolonged any return of H in a timely manner. He hated me, his anger was extreme, he totally shut me out of his life yet we lived in the same house. We could go for almost a week living in a small house and never see each other or speak to each other.
Someone earlier said exposing is not the same as ultimatums or boundaries and I agree 100%. I was never able to enforce a boundary or issue an ultimatum, except one. I told H if he moved out don't ever come back. He pushed that to the extreme, had his own place, most of his stuff was gone from here. Yet he he slept here on the cuoch every night.
H's MLC was something only he could get thru, and the more I pushed him the longer became his journey.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Just wanted again to apologize about the unintentional hijack yesterday. Seemed to turn into the hot topic for a moment or two.
I seem to be backsliding a bit. Crazy dreams again.
Hope you're getting everything back into shape after the flood. You're description made me think of Hercules cleaning out some stables by diverting a river. Maybe it helped in some small way.
Stay strong, both for yourself and me - sometimes you're my backbone.
As far as I'm concerned there is never a need to apologize for a discussion on my thread. As I said before the info can be used by us all.
I'm having a few dreams of my own lately. Some of the content can not be posted. lol Not sure why, guess I'm just missing my H in a number of ways.
The flood damage was minor. Clean up wasn't a big deal. Thanks for the Hercules reference. I'll have to remember that.
Punkin, one thing I'm sure of, and that is that when it comes to backbone yours is plenty strong. There's no way you'd of survived and thrived as an Army wife without one.
When the bomb first dropped through my hurt and anger my mantra was, "This wasn't done to me, it was done for me". If H could do something like this I was better off without him.
I've revisited that saying recently, not with hurt or anger. It makes more sense to me now than then. It's all in perception.
Because this happened I've been allowed the opportunity if I chose to take a good look in the mirror. I did choose to look and that continues...
My blessing in this is that I would not have done the reflecting or the work if this had not have happened. My M was good most of the time as far as I was concerned. I was not the only one concerned though, and I can see more clearly now why some of the things my H said stung. Those are the things I have worked on and still do, they are part of my journey for me. Admittedly, I started out working on them to try and bring H back. What I have found is that they are for my benefit. So yeah, this really wasn't done to me, but for me.
I aspire to your calm and knowledge. You always seem to have the sanest, kindest, calmest thing to say to a hurting soul. Were you a minister in a past life?
Seems to be a lot of soul searching going on lately! I suppose that we should feel "blessed" that we have been given this chance to look in the mirror and see what needs to be changed and become a better person. No matter how our sitch's end...we will be rewarded for doing the work and finishing our journeys!
And, I agree with punkin! You always post in a calm, kind and sensitive manner to everyone on here!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Seems to be a lot of soul searching going on lately!
Hey CW, I've noticed that too!
I truly appreciate your kind words, although you're no slouch in that department either! With your strength, dignity and grace, you are a ray of sunshine! I always look forward to reading your posts.
Something happened this evening that made me a bit sad. My S26 handed me the extra key to my vehicle that his dad always carried. H always made sure we had a key to the each others vehicle.
Just further evidence of H distancing himself. Now I guess I will have to give him the key I have to his vehicle.
Now I guess I will have to give him the key I have to his vehicle.
No, you don't!
Hi SA,
I have been following your thread but I haven't posted here for awhile mostly b/c I have had nothing to add. You seem to be getting along so well! You are an inspiration.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
