Well I notice my H is far less verbally and emotionally abusive since I FINALLY have pulled waaaay back. When he even starts to escalate, I immediately walk away, leave, or hang up. I've gotten more apologies in the last month than probably my whole marriage.
He still has that gf I think and although I suffer great pain over this, my dimness has saved me.
I need to not weaken my resolve - I get seduced by his transformation into a polite, even apologetic person. I glimpse the man I was married to once. But in therapy I realize I cannot be cuckolded again! I was lied to by this man for the past year.
So now - how to really get him into a crisis? I guess I need MLC or infidelity forum - will end up there soon, so friends, please fine me there! I am talking to two therapists and one lawyer - all females - who support me in fighting for full custody, due to H's abusive nature. I am very sad to have to fight him but it's time I solidified my resolve and fought for me and my son. Any advice welcome. He is comfortably cake eating, with me nearly gone, but not completely, still polite and friendly in dealings about our son - but this will not ensure he looks at himself or our relationship. It will allow him to continue to walk away feeling the victim himself, feeling fine while partying with some young thing while legally married to me, missing every weekend with his son in order to spend it with her. I need to finally take control and threaten him with what he will lose with this kind of behavior. It will either wake him up, or more likely, give me the power and control to move on knowing I did the right thing for me and S5.
In other news, had two dates last week. First ones since the bomb 1.5 years ago. I REALLY REALLY liked this one guy and it was a great date. I left a vm the next day to say I had a great time - and follow up on some potential plans we had discussed for the following weekend. THEN SILENCE.
So now I have to db him too? Rats! Yep, NC. But ouch. I really felt ready and excited to be dating a nice guy.
