Jayce's thread

[Jayce]

Someone asked, on another thread, how or what I/we did to make my sitch better. Other than your going back and reading dozens of my rants, this might help. I came across a statement in a totally unrelated article that sums it up: "Remember, it's a process. The greatest fallacy regarding corrective action is that it is viewed as a single solution that will 'fix'the problem. If you reconfigure your thinking to recogize that any corrective method is a culmination of collective strategies that are implemented over a period of time, with various possibility of outcomes, you will most assuredly realize that there isn't just one answer.

The idea of 'various possibility of outcomes' is relevant also. One may improve a spouse's health, communication, or counseling may improve understanding of his/her sexuality, hang-ups, etc., but any of those changes could result in the spouse doing something other than we hoped; like leave, shut down altogether, join a convent, have an affair, admit to a fetish, or become a raving 2x a day maniac.

I'm not saying be careful what you wish for, just that it is a process that takes time and results aren't entirely predictable. Being watchful & flexible in changing strategies is important. The process will never be on a straight track. There is no track. It'll meander all over the place, but at least it moves along. Beats remaining static with no hope.

I'd say "good luck', but I believe you make your own luck.
Jayce