Who's Got Sandi's "Do's and Don'ts" list handy?

[Ready2Change]

No, this is Sandi's list, and we'll never come up with a list that have 100% agreement, from 100% of the folks here.

I really like (and followed) Sandi's list.

I NOW believe in this:

1. Get proof.

2. Do either:

2a. Aggressive affair-busting (see Allen A's posts); or

2b. "Set her free" (Robx/Gucci approach)

Those are the only two things I've seen work. If #1 turns up nothing, then proceed to 2b.

I also understand why #10 says not to snoop. I wish #10 had said:

10) Get proof of affair by checking emails, phone bills, etc. (Requires detachment and emotional control). Do not react to anything, rather respond with guidance from DBers. Never reveal sources of proof. Aggressively expose/bust affair with guidance from DBers. Then stop snooping.