I really feel I have no idea what I am doing and what I should be doing ? I feel so lost. and I guess after my husband was here last night and tell me he doesnt think my lawyer is giving me the right advice, it leaves me wondering more and more.
Can you really trust your H's advice? I'm no expert. My D has dragged on a long time because STBXW hasn't really pushed hard. Early on I responded quickly to everything that came my way. Lately, I've been waiting a few days to respond -- I'm sure that slows the process a bit. Her L is no ball of fire anyway.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Thanks CW, interesting, I have some thinking to do.
My concern right now is Husband keeps telling me that the way he has been doing things so far, is going to be the better deal for me then what the courts are going to give me, if I go for support. The support date is scheduled for October 12.
So far he has been paying ALL the bills, electric, morgage, phones, everything. I only have approx. $150. in the bank at any time, whenever I buy gas for the car or food for the Girls and myself then he will transfer that exact amount back into the account. He gives no extra spending money, clothes, entertainment ect.
I guess he is getting me nervous now about wether I should go forward with the legal support. Am I making sense ?
My concern is how long would he be willing to be so generous ? won't he tire soon of having to still take care of us, and get tired of me having to report to him whenever I spend money on me and the Girls.
He was here the other day looking for paperwork, saying he needs it now, now that I sued him for support, HELLO...didn't you sue me first for divorce.
I am really nervous now about this support hearing, He wanted this divorce, not me. I have worked part time for the past 5 years, before that I was a stay at home mom, because that is what we both agreed. I make barely anything compared to him, now he is telling me that now I have to get a full time job, yes, deep down I do know this, but at the same time, I do not like being told this from him or maybe it is the way he says it. he said Me and the Girls way of life would not change, But That is already changing. He said it is in my best interest to be nice to him. and that after support is established through the courts, any extra money he decides to give me would be out of the kindness of his heart. Some times when he is talking to me he is such a stranger, not some one I loved and was/is married too for 16 years.
Okay I can take some 2x4's, I think I need them. Should I go forward with the support date, or should I ask that a legal document be made up where we keep things going as they have been for the past month ?
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
Shelby, he is only thinking of himself. Once he filed for D, he no longer had your best interests at heart. You need to speak to your attorney about what you might be able to get. However, given your length of marriage and your health, he should have to pay support for you as well as child support. You should also get enough support that you don't have to go full time for a certain time period. Ask your L about getting temporary support. It surprises me that they won't get a hearing before October.
He is trying to use his money to get whatever he wants. The only problem is you don't know what his agenda is. I would not give him any papers unless you already have a copy of it. He can get financial records directly from the institutions. You need to be gathering information as well.
You need to be all about protecting yourself right now. What he is saying and what he is doing does not match. You cannot trust him.
My concern right now is Husband keeps telling me that the way he has been doing things so far, is going to be the better deal for me then what the courts are going to give me, if I go for support.
Of COURSE he is telling you that. That is why he's saying not to go to a L, because he knows very well you have a lot of leverage, Shelby! Get your own L. Call today.
Originally Posted By: Shelby
I guess he is getting me nervous now about wether I should go forward with the legal support. Am I making sense?
He's scared of the thought of you getting a L. You can bet on that!
Originally Posted By: bluestar
Shelby, he is only thinking of himself. Once he filed for D, he no longer had your best interests at heart.
This!!!
Do not trust him, Shelby. He prob has his own strategy that works way better for him and not you. Know that.
As for 2x4s... eh I'm not well-versed in that so I will let some other posters respond to you about that.
Thanks I did get my own Lawyer, and of course now my Husband is telling me he doesn't think My Laywer is giving me good advice. He also mentioned how my lawyer is trying to get him to pay for my legal fees, and he did not seem to happy about that either.
I want this to go as smooth as possible, but I do not want to end up getting screwed in the end. I want to make sure I have what I need to care for my daughters and myself.
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
LOL! Well your H certainly wasn't foolish enough to think that YOU would be paying legal fees for a divorce you didn't want or even know about until it was all decided for you. And if he did then bless his soul for being so stupid. I mean really!
How does your H know what sort of legal advice you are getting? Please don't tell him anything. Of course *his* attny is going to say he is getting a raw deal.
I would not continue with this "friendly support arrangement". It will only come back to bite you in a very unpleasant way. Get some legal framework in order ASAP.
As I said to Sol, you do not talk to or negotiate with somebody that is suing you.
Should I go forward with the support date, or should I ask that a legal document be made up where we keep things going as they have been for the past month ?
Your L should be able to answer this...IF you decide to go with the support date and your H withdraws the temporary support he has been giving you, then you should be able to get an emergency support hearing sooner. But...I am not an L and do not know this for sure so this would be another question to ask the L!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I was just checking out my Facebook and see Husband has made some posts....yes, we are still FB friends, CRAZY, I know, seems he has been to 2 movies recently, both that are fairly current and are still in theaters.
This makes me so mad, not for myself, but for my Daughters, he was here last Wednesday to see them, but has not called them or seen them since. And here a he is out having a fun time seeing movies, something we couldnt even afford to do even if we wanted to too. My Daughter's are his FB friend too, so I am sure they will see this too and notice it although they won't say anything to me about it.
I so want to say something to him about it...about how it must be nice for him to be going out to 2 movies in one weekend, how he must be too busy having fun to even call his Daughter's.
before I say anything to him....should I ??? OR should I keep my mouth shut ??
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
