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Well, for me this week has been really tough because for the first time, I've been doing the DB plan for real. And it's hard, that's why I've avoided committing to it. But. I love my wife. I want my marriage to work. I've always shied away from challenges, taken the easy path.

But I can't do that anymore, and not just for my marriage, but for my life.

So I'm going to stay, not push her out, just be the man I've always thought I'd be. If she decides to leave, then she can leave. It's going to be a long, long Fall and Winter, but I never gave up when I was wooing her. I knew she was the one for me, and I still believe that with all my heart.

Thanks guys for guiding me to the decision that is best for me.

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Originally Posted By: pinhead

If she decides to leave, then she can leave.


Like she needs your permission.

Originally Posted By: pinhead

I never gave up when I was wooing her.


Letting them go doesn't mean giving up and I think it is the harder of the two paths. It's what many on this site have trouble doing completely (myself included).

I am glad Steve and I have provided a foil so you could make the right decision for you.


Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21
Bomb June 18, 2010
I filed D July 20, 2010
W filed counter suit Aug 2
Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
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Originally Posted By: pinhead
Thanks guys for guiding me to the decision that is best for me.


you will be asking this question again.

just remember, "mystery fruit cake"

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Originally Posted By: pinhead

So I'm going to stay, not push her out, just be the man I've always thought I'd be. If she decides to leave, then she can leave. It's going to be a long, long Fall and Winter, but I never gave up when I was wooing her. I knew she was the one for me, and I still believe that with all my heart.

Thanks guys for guiding me to the decision that is best for me.


PH, I have a feeling we're both going to be in the same boat (hopefully if my W doesn't leave) all Fall and Winter.

The thing is - and think of it like this - if you're DBing correctly, giving her everything she needs/wants in a man, no pressure, being Mr. SuperFunNiceGuy, but still maintaining a backbone and your integrity.... Why would she leave?

That may be the ultimate question we both should answer. I know what the answer to that question is because my W wrote about it.

Let go, but still fight. I think we can do both.


----"Et tu, Brute?"----
me:28 W:24 S4
T:6
M:4
EA Exposed: 5/21/10
Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day)
NC w/ OM: 7/10/10
W moved out 8/21/10
http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
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Originally Posted By: pinhead
Well, for me this week has been really tough because for the first time, I've been doing the DB plan for real. And it's hard, that's why I've avoided committing to it. But. I love my wife. I want my marriage to work. I've always shied away from challenges, taken the easy path.

But I can't do that anymore, and not just for my marriage, but for my life.

So I'm going to stay, not push her out, just be the man I've always thought I'd be. If she decides to leave, then she can leave. It's going to be a long, long Fall and Winter, but I never gave up when I was wooing her. I knew she was the one for me, and I still believe that with all my heart.

Thanks guys for guiding me to the decision that is best for me.


Hey Pin, did you order/pick up those books yet?

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read this nugget today:

When an action doesn't come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love-gary chapman


Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12
Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life!
“Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
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Hang in there pinhead keep working it.. (DBing)... As you know I'm trying myself but kinda confused cause my wife is no longer here nor does she communicate with me.

So I try each day to keep busy running errands etc.. (I'm on summer break I work for the schools and will be back in12 more days). I'm re reading and trying to apply some things and do the complete 180 not trying to chase her.


Mark

Me 36
WAW 24
S 4
D 2(My Kids/her step kids)
S15,D14,S10,D11
Love you but not in love with you 6/8/2010
Left/Bomb 6/20/2010
D filed 6/23/2010
M 4
T 5 1/2
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pinhead Offline OP
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I ordered NUTS yesterday.

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Man, I just posted on my post.

Mine came in...

No More Mr Nice Guy is GREAT! I'll finish it for sure tonight, needed a break to come tell about it LOL

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Originally Posted By: pinhead
I ordered NUTS yesterday.


Awesome man. You can read it in an easy 3-4 hours tops. Really empowered me. Made me confident again.


----"Et tu, Brute?"----
me:28 W:24 S4
T:6
M:4
EA Exposed: 5/21/10
Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day)
NC w/ OM: 7/10/10
W moved out 8/21/10
http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
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