Just texting with H. He said he's "not here" bc he felt we were getting to the point where he had to hold back not to physically hurt me. He got to the point he was with me for the kids and all the arguing, fighting, and resentment were piling up to where he felt he might get physical. He said he has to do things this way so the kids won't hate him bc he doesn't want to become abusive.
He never was in 14 yrs. But I just said ok. I'm not arguing the situation anymore. He will only see things the way he chooses. I can't change that.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
You're doing the right thing. Do not argue or defend yourself, you know it does no good.
Go as dark as you can as he's still spewing. Saying, sorry you feel that way, when he starts, and then that you have to go will keep you from having to listen to it.
Do not contact for any reason other than financial or about the kids. Stay on subject and don't veer off to a R talk. Protect yourself from his spew.
I'm at the same point with my H, where it's obvious we cannot talk to each other at this point. That includes emails, texts, phone calls. It will give you more peace than you ever imagined. I'm now in wait and see mode, but still standing.
We're all great. Going to an OB appt soon to hear "her" heartbeat then going to buy some cute school sweaters for my big girls :-)
Punkin the funny thing is we can get along fine, but it's as if he doesn't trust his inner rage or he'll do/say something to get me angry to "prove" he's been right all along.
Today is the 1st time he's articulated his fear instead of simply saying I want nothing to do with you. He obviously doesn't like me much anymore but that's in his head. I'm still going to do IC when the kids start school so I can deal with my anger and resentment.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
2, Would a 180 for you be to not let your H do anything that pushed your buttons? If you're not reacting to what he says or does there goes that justification.
