Another story of a WH and an LBS

[pinhead]

Oh yeah, I'm a huge baby when I get anything worse than a cold. And my W was never nurturing to me. Drove me crazy.

[gatsby11]

Ha ha Pinhead! Well, good. Glad to hear about it, makes me feel better that most men are this way.

Little girl isn't sick, NM, but I wanted to know what to look out for/expect. Hopefully she doesn't get it.

Good advice. I've already texted him twice today to ask how he feels, though, so I can't tell him what med specifically to use. As if I know, anyway! I'd just say Advil Cold and Sinus, I guess. But I think he liked that I asked. He said he's feeling better and working from home.

Going to the daycare tomorrow to bring little girl and practice. They'll feed her, change her, and then we'll hang out together. Oh, I should probably buy another thing of A & D to leave... should type up a little informational thing too... k, going to go do that now!

[gatsby11]

The main thing in my life is that I'm bringing little girl to daycare for the first time without me on Monday! She'll be there for about 5 hours.

I went with her today for an hour and a half.

It's just hard knowing that others will be deciding what to do with her. I can tell them what I want, but I don't fully know that's what they'll do! I'm worried that they'll push her crying-it-out for naps, and I don't want them to do that at this point. She'll only be 9 weeks old!

So that's what's up.

WH and I have been texting and talking on the phone. He's coming over tomorrow at 11 for two hours. I'll try to bring up therapy then.

That's all!

[newmama]

Hi Gatsby! I am answering your question about daycare on your thread.

Well, S has been a handful of times. They give me a report card every time and I notice that the "teachers" are always holding or rocking an itty bitty infant. It really feels like there is a lot of patience for the babies! I also know they could be on their best behavior because I am there, but I am good at getting a vibe on people and situations so I doubt that is the case.

As for naps, they seem to have a system where the babies sleep in a crib or a mat on the floor or in a swing. It amazed me to see the 4th day, I showed up to get S and I see him actually lying down on the mat and following the "routine." They play lullaby music and dim the lights and they follow a schedule (which is something that was a top priority). I actually see ALL the babies (except maybe 1) sleeping!

So hopefully your place is open to various ways to getting the babies to sleep. I never have walked in to hear a baby crying without seeing someone holding him or her!! And Gatsby, seriously, DO NOT HESITATE to make your "needs" known and your "requests." You are paying, it is YOUR child, and I have a feeling you will not be a bitch about it!!:) Ok I know you know this, but just saying it anyway.

I haven't had to, yet, but I did come in to get S and noticed the paperwork was wrong. It said they called me at 11:30 not 12:20. So I crossed it out and wrote the correct time. (I was not going to make it look like I took 1 hr 20 minutes to get him!)

Let's see....it was hard leaving him the first day, but when I picked him up, he was happily playing. That made it easier the other times. Your baby girl will be so loved and cared for!

[gatsby11]

Thanks so much for all your responses, NM! I do like to hear how others' daycares work. I've been getting more used to the idea, but yes.

I've got my requests all written up! I'm just going to insist on no crying out at this point.

Anyway, wanted to tell you guys that 1) I forgot to mention counseling yesterday, darn it. Will try to do that today!!!!! and 2) I am SO busy with work. WTF. I went in yesterday with little girl. Got nothing done. Had to learn my lesson the hard way about bringing her in!

So I'm going to have WH be with her on Sunday and go with my mom up to school for 6 hours to set up my room and get a couple of things done.

All that to say I'm going to be putting my computer time to do actual work here for a little while, so I won't be on as much!

[gatsby11]

Eyeroll.

Today I brought up counseling with him. He TOTALLY avoided. I said, "YOu know, we should figure out stuff for counseling. You know, who to see, stuff like that." He said, "I know." Then there was silence for about a minute and then he brought up that he was going to bring me a check on Sunday. He asked to break up the child support so that he paid twice, when he got his paycheck. He said it fit his budget better.

When we split, I divided our accounts equally. We both had plenty. I now have a little bit more than I started with. I am hoping TO GOD that he's not paycheck-to-paycheck. If he blew through that money, holy cow.

I truly think he doesn't want to start counseling because he wants to keep everything 'nice' with us. That's what got us here in the first place!!!! So I am going to bring it up again next week.

Because I'm serious: either we're counseling and friends, or we're not counseling and we're not friends!!!

[newmama]

Because I'm serious: either we're counseling and friends, or we're not counseling and we're not friends!!!

BRILLIANT. STRONG. SPOT ON!!!!

[Piano]

Hey G,
Maybe WH needs a little more time adjusting or whatever before therapy starts...maybe he thinks therapy will open up some wounds he's not ready for yet?
Be patient.
Keep doing what you are doing. The no friends thing is fine. You need to keep our boundaries - meaning doing what does you the least harm possible and is in accordance with your values and beliefs.
I think he may come right around G, but time is of the essence. It's been what? 7 or 8 months since you separated? Just think how much longer it will take to piece things back together...could be a year or two. Can you ride this wave?

[gatsby11]

Hey P,

You have a good point. I suck at patience, big time. I can ride the wave for a while, but I really don't want to be 'swindled' by him saying something but having no real plans of following through. Sigh. It's tricky.

Today he texted like normal in the morning, but right now he sounded really weird and distant. He was supposed to do a dangerous rock climb today. So I texted at 10 "are you still alive and kickin? :)" he wrote back "yeah, it didn't work out today. we just watched movies." then i said, "oh well it was really hot out." and he said "yeah. next time."

Now, this could be nothing. If I know my WH, he's probably still watching a movie and wasn't fully thinking about what he was texting. At the same time, I wonder if he's getting cold feet about the therapy thing!

But I'm just gonna see what happens tomorrow. He's coming over.

Hey, Juno was on tonight. I TOTALLY forgot that the husband in that movie 'walked away' from his wife! He wasn't ready to be a father! I TOTALLY forgot. I watch it so differently now than I did the first time I saw it. That character is so like my WH. Trying to be young and 'cool.' But I'm not as bitchy as the Jennifer Gardner character.

[newmama]

Gatsby, I didn't think your H's text sounded too weird (from the outside looking in, that is!)

Juno...I might have been the only person who didn't like that movie! BUt maybe I was pregnant with my distant H the last time I watched it? I don't remember! Don't worry, your WH won't take off like Jason Bateman's character.

Maybe we were watching the same channel, because I just finished "Where the Heart Is" on Oxygen. They play it all the time...yet again, how funny to watch it for the first time as a single mom. At least stbxh is still in S' life!

I bet there are going to be a lot of movies like that- where our perspective is totally different now!