But I just realized that with every new relationship I have with women that I date or have fun with I have automatically detached a small part of my heart from them where I would care less if they were to leave me for another. When I realized this it kind of bothered me a bit. I have this new self defense mechanism in me it seems.
Is this normal? Is this healthy? I guess that I have been hurt so much by my XW that I put a little wall up around that small section of my heart so that I will never feel that pain again. I never want to feel like any women owns my heart. Does anybody understand what I am trying to explain?.
This makes total sense. When we get our heart broken by someone, it's natural to feel like you don't ever want to put yourself out there again. At all. And I agree you are not over your XW, which is why the lady told you that. It takes time. You were married and had a relationship with her for a long time. It'd be odd to just "get over it."
Originally Posted By: g450
And the ones that are in their 40s and have never been married kind of scare me a bit if you know what I mean.
Hmm... I guess I'd never thought about that before. Does anyone else on the board feel that way? Why is it scary to you? I'm curious. Not that it's bad or good IMO, I am just wondering if others feel that way, too or not.
As for your XW, I agree with the above poster... maybe youcan talk to her about what you guys will/will not discuss with everyone. That is too bad she had that reaction toward you. It seems she's quite resentful. Not your problem, though (her resentment). If the fam asks you something about it, maybe you can say XW had told you she prefers you not be in constant communication with them.
Cheer up. I know it's hard but you'll get there. It may not feel like it but you are already moving on.
