Today started out as many of you know. It was very emotional for me in the morning. I did take a break from thinking and vacuumed and dusted with the kids, and the apartment looks great. The kids helped me so much. I had to go to the library and run some other errands that could not wait. I went to the bank and took out $20 from our insurance money because the car was on empty, and the indicator light came on. I also needed some money for lunch for the kids and me too. I was hungry, and I wanted to eat good today. I bought a $10 pizza at Pizza Hut, a Mountain Dew, and put $5 dollars in the gas tank. I took the kids to the Pier for some fishing with D and S's homemade fishing poles and bait. We were there for about 2 hours. Did not catch anything. Someone caught a Shovel Head shark. It was so nice to have some peace and quiet away from home.
I came home to check for messages on the home phone, my e-mail, and to put the fishing gear away. I received a phone call from W mad about the $20 I used from our insurance money. I told her that I did take it and that initially I took $120, but I put back $100 and just kept the $20. She said there was $100 deposit and that I had money. I explained what happened, and she said if I did not have money that I should not take the kids. I told her that she would have to put $20 back because I have no money, and she said you have to do it. I said politely that I do not have the money, and it would not happen. She said I have money if I could hire an attorney for the hearing. I just told her that " I am not going to have this conversation with you," and I hung up. It was just going nowhere. I finished what I needed to do,and I took S and D to the doggie park.
W called, but I did not answer this time. She wanted to know if the kids ate or not. I just went home when I was ready.
Tonight she had a place set for me to eat. The kids asked if I was going to eat tonight since mommy had a place for me tonight,and I said "yes." W apologized for not having a potato for me. I said I was not worried about it.
She also said she was going to go put the money in the bank and would be right back to the kids. She also bought some milk and butter.
She was a little grumpy with the kids, and she went to bed really early tonight. Well she did stay up past 1:30 am last night.
Oh, she cancelled a credit card that I used. All the other cards do not work now either. I maxed some of them out too. I needed to take care of some things. I am glad that I did.
It was a nice evening watching some TV with the kids tonight. Turned into a decent day.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
The day I have been dreading for so long is coming up on Monday. I don't how it is that this time last year I was with W and the kids at the beach for a bonfire that she is at without me today. I could never have imagined then what it would like the same time this year. I am glad I did not know what was to come.
OM contacted her at 9:27 pm last night by TM.
She was going to take the kids to In and Out last night, and Son wanted me to go, so I went, and W said "ok." I do not have any money, and W would not buy my food, so D gave me some of her friies and a water, and I just enjoyed being with the kids. What a terrible feeling I had that I am doing something wrong being there. I always want a job and money because what she has told me I am feeling so much that way even if it is not my fault or I have done my best. It hits home so much for me.
I miss the kids today, and S and D wanted me to go, but W told them that they could go with me to see my friends. She told S I could not go. I did not expect anything different from her.
She is worse than ever with the way she treats me.
I pray and hope Monday that I prevail at the hearing. I sure do not know what else I have to lose but everything if the judge rules in her favor. It will be a big blow. I guess the worse that could happen is that I am homeless. I will survive. I will not give up the fight for my kids even then. I don't know how I will do it. I will just have to live and fight day-to-day.
I just want this day over.
I did wake the kids and get them ready for today. They are excited I know. I was disappointed, and I accept this will be the way that it is for me and them for the rest of their lives.
I have to find a way to deal with that and put my life together as soon as possible.
Monday is the day I will find out what my life will be like for the future.
Daughter did say she wants to be with me, not mommy, but she would like to visit her sometimes. S say, "he just wants to be with me, just the 2 of us.
This is taking its toll on in so many devastating ways.
I have to keep going and fight on for the kids. That is what keeps me going.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Hey my thoughts and prayers are with you. I finally saw my S tonight after S wasvisiting the grandparents for about 3.5 weeks. Well I get this tx from him after I left his friend had sent it to him
Fwd: God is going to fix 2 things tonight in your favor. If you belive in God send to 10 people. Do it now put him first.
I never expected that from him !! So I wanted to pass it on.. Well talk later Hope
