How much longer in Separated?

[jon2911]

W had sent the "maybe I need a break" yesterday evening. I decided to let it sit and see what would happen.

Around 10:30 today I got the following from W.

W: Did you get the message I sent you yesterday?
Me: Hi! Yes, I don't want to bug you just let me know
W: I don't want to bug you either. I'm at an appt with Aunt, can't talk. Hope your day goes well.

I tried giving her a ring over lunch just in case, got butterflies just like we were dating in college again. Which I guess we are.

I'll chalk this up for what it was and move on, see if she calls me tonight. I forget that W likes to enjoy music, she doesn't care to know about the musicians. It's almost like it ruins it for her to know that they're real people and I'm friends with them. But we've been through this before and I should have known better. She was probably a bit nervous after telling me about church as well, we haven't talked about anything like that in a long time.

[MichelleLT]

Good job on giving her space and trying to not pursue.

Sounds like it's time to focus on your GAL activities more and see what happens.

It could just be a small bump if you don't let it get too big.

[jon2911]

Thanks Michelle!

Had a great time working job #2 from the Apple Store last night, their new Magic Trackpad is really cool, and new iMacs are blazingly fast. It really puts me in a better mood to work job #2 from there, need to do that more often.

Took a chance and called W Tuesday night around 10:30. Had a nice little chat. She just sounds very down right now.

We talked a little yesterday and she told me she hasn't been feeling well, and that FIL's hip surgery is today. She's going into Houston for it. She's thrilled. Should be 4 hours and then she'll drive back to Port Arthur.

I had a great band practice last night, and get to go water skiing with some cousins on Saturday. They're from Denver and we go up there a lot to snow ski, but they've never done water. Should be fun. GAL feels good.

[jon2911]

Got word from my boss yesterday that my promotion has gone through. So excited! More money, more enjoyable job description. It's been a long road but I've learned a lot.

He actually told me about my next raise in December also, but it wasn't as much as I'd hoped. After talking with a business owner friend at recovery group, I accepted the promotion and raise now, and said "I'd like to leave the December raise up for negotiation, but we can talk about that then." It's so great to have this guy to talk to, he has 12 employees which is about the size of my current company. I took him to dinner last night (at W's suggestion) and he really gave me some insight into an owner's perspective. I'll be doing a lot of things differently now. Will journal that later.

Fantastic conversation with W last night. She went out alone for a couple margaritas and a Southeast Texas karaoke night. Sounded hilarious. I told her I wished I was there, I know how she gets with tequila. She said "I know, that's why I had to head home". I told her if she can't make it up here next weekend, I'm driving down there. She said "we'll see".

[K4D]

Glad to hear things are going good for you bro. As usual, you sound positive and upbeat for the most part. That is awesome.

Kevin

[Espr444]

Congrats to u I wish u the best. Trying to stay positive like u but it's harder somedays than others.
Later hope!!

[jon2911]

Hey Kevin! Good to hear from you.

Had a good weekend, some cousins were in from Colorado and I showed them how we handle the Texas heat, which has been 106 every day for a while. We rented a boat and hit the lake. I'm still sore LOL.

W had mentioned to me how sad her GFIL was when she went out last Thursday, but she was looking forward to spending time with him at "the Ranch", their vacation home.

I talked to her after the weekend, and it sounded terrible. He's been very crabby, using the excuse that he's grieving over GMIL. Which is true, but W has to deal with it. For example, on the way there they stopped at a place he didn't like, and he groused the whole time and said "guess all I eat is sh-t this days anyway". That's a real dig at W, who cooks for him. She even picked something that he'd like from the menu, and he complained the whole time while eating the entire sandwich. LOL.

W was throwing up all weekend, said she's had a constant migraine for 3 weeks. That explains the withdrawn vibe I've been getting. She really sounds down when we talk the last few days. She really has a choice between dealing with GFIL, or FIL who just had hip replacement. Not fun.

I wish I could help her. It's sobering to think that this would be really, really hard to deal with even if we were back together. We had a good talk last night, and it turns out they're going back to the Ranch this weekend. She said sorry we can't do anything and sounded sad.

Fantastic recording session last night, I'm very happy with the results. Getting more comfortable coming up with stuff on the fly in the studio. Very tired today though. Just need to make it through work and go to bed early tonight.

So, it's been a month now since the last visit, which went fantastic. Which makes this even harder. I'm really feeling it. No plans for the weekend because I was keeping it open to go down there. My motorcycle transmission has been acting up, and I'll finally have time to get it taken care of. That, and catch up on job #2. Maybe I'll take a new Harley for a long test drive.

How about some Hard 8 Kevin?

[K4D]

Give me a call and we will set it up. I'm all for it.

Kevin

[jon2911]

I wanted to run something by everyone:

Turns out W is skipping the Ranch this weekend. She's not feeling well and already spent a lot of family time this week. She actually sounded upbeat last night, she loves the alone time.

I'm considering driving and seeing her. I have a Poker tournament at a friend's house tonight, so that's exciting and good GAL. I'm thinking I'll sleep in tomorrow and then give W a call. I already cleared out the rest of the weekend to try and see her. It's been a month and our plans keep falling through for various reasons. Thoughts?

[jon2911]

Had a fantastic night Friday. A friend invited me to a cash game Poker night. I played in a tournament with these guys back in January, and won 3rd place and $75. Cash games are a lot different though, so I was nervous. I got a Poker for dummies book from a friend, and it had a lot of tips on the strategy differences.

Long story short I won big the first time around, beat a guy who went all in with pocket Aces, I had a suited King 6 but flopped two pair and drew a flush on the river. On world series of poker I would have been down 5% to 95% but pulled it out. I cashed out after that (nice thing about a cash game), but bought back in with $5 later when they needed a player ti keep the game going. Quickly turned that into $50 and stayed in until 2:30 AM when we shut it down.

Best I've felt in a long time. These guys were serious players, one of them averages 3 nights a week at the casino. Fantastic experience, just talking over hands and getting advice. It was the quintessential guy night, and I needed it. I had never been gambling until GFIL took me a little while before the bomb, and I can't believe I missed out for so long. Like anything else, it can be damaging and addicting, but I'm in the black all-time, actually up quite a bit. My conservative upbringing was all about staying away from anything like this, and I'm glad to be done with that.

Called W afterwards, and we had a fantastic talk. She was excited to hear about the night, which took place in the largest house I've ever been in. We were literally a couple streets over from George W's house in Preston Hollow.

W asked me about how my first week after promotion ended up, and I had to say it was great. I love the new position and responsibilities. She said "I'm so proud of you. You fought for more money and to do something like a lot better, and got it". I'd been thinking about that. This is the first time I've fought for a raise, and there was also encountered a lot of opposition from my coworkers. It seems the only ingredient needed for workplace tension is someone making more money, and now that someone is me. And I like it.

I then took a chance and told W I'd like to get a few hours sleep and then come to see her. She sounded really sad but said this isn't a good weekend for her. GFIL was only spending one night at the Ranch and coming back the next day. I'd assumed he'd be gone all weekend like normal. Darn. I'm busy the next two weekends, which made it even worse.

Saturday I got my Harley loaded in the truck (which I didn't think was possible) and into the shop, finally. The clutch is burned out so bad it's unridable, and I'll probably have to fight them on the warranty. I hate crap like this, especially with no one else to help. Car trouble is so much more complicated with a WAS. It feels good to get it done after a month of procrastinating. Sorry Kev, wanted to call you but I didn't get it done until 6:00 and didn't have any energy after that.

Got a lot of work done today for job #2, need to rest up tonight because a new manager starts tomorrow and I want to make a good first impression.

5-year anniversary is coming up on the 19th, and I'm down about it. Another reason I really wanted to see her, and I know it's on her mind as well. She had mentioned possibly coming up during the week because weekends are hard for her to get away, so maybe I'll throw that out there. Either way it feels good to type this out and realize that things are, in fact, going a lot better.