That her perception (her reality) is that I'm manipulative, controlling, and do not listen. That I'm the same SOB that I was when she told me two months ago that she wanted to leave.
I'm absolutely broken right now knowing this.
Zeroed right in on you, I notice.
What about her? Did this inspire any compassion toward her? Greek
Thank you for pointing this out to me. I did zero in on the ME factor in my response.
Did this innnspire any compassion? Hell yes. I feel absolutely terrible that she feels this way, more so than I feel hurt by this letter. I see that she feels hurt, lonely, alone and just plain unloved by this email. She is yearning for a man that will listen to her, not contol her, and be there for her.
I just have to be that man.
you still find your self/ego/person in her words.
Compassion is a rather vague word in the English language. After long talks with my wife on this word, I have come to internalize it as a kindness and wishing (more vague words) for the welfare of all living beings and that they may be free from physical and spiritual suffering. There is not a need to relieve or experience another's suffering (duk-ha, if we wish to translate it) but an understanding of their consciousness and that their realities exist for them.
You can be compassionate to a worm, yet be able to do nothing for their experience, other than appreciate (to be yet more vague) that their souls existence has not achieve that of oneself.
If I was to teach you anything about the meaning of that tought, and its relation to your experiences, I would say that to feel compassionate towards another would to be to set them free emotionally and spiritually. And that their experiences and spiritual path are their own to experience. As are yours your own. There is a tought that to love another you must love ones self. To extend this here, to fully understand one's suffering you first need to be compassionate towards yourself. KNOW YOURSELF.
Is that not what your wife wishes to do?
Quote:
I know I need to value myself rather than seek it from other people.
If I may, "For a moment consider, human beings living in a underground cave since childhood. Their legs and necks chained so that they cannot move. Prisoners. The mouth of their prison opens toward the light and behind them a fire. So, all that they could see would be shadows.
Their reality would be literally nothing but the shadows of what is going on behind their backs.
Now, suppose we were to release these "prisoners" and lead them out of the mouth of the cave. At first, would not, the sun be harsh to their eyes? Painful and irritating. And confusing, as they would not fully understand their new reality and, simultaneously, not be able to see the "realities" of the shadows of their former captivity.
Yet, their eyes will grow accustom to the light. At first, focusing on shadows, then reflections, then objects themselves. Till eventually they would be able to look into the light. The sun.
At that point, they no longer would be able to see in their old habitat but now would be able to contemplate the meaning of this new existence, which offers more than that of living in darkness.
Certainly. I think that it would better to suffer and experience that which is foreign than to entertain false notions and live in a miserable manner."
