21 years of marriage hanging by a thread

[Chuck66]

I just sent the following email to my W.


I talked with my lawyer about speeding up the divorce. He will see what he can do to make that happen and get you on your way.

Some financial things:
1. In Oct, our auto insurance will need to be renewed. You need to set up your own policy as I will remove the Civic from mine. You will lose the multi-car discount and the $227.87 per 6 months for the Civic will go up.

2. You do not have to do anything with the life insurance policies. They are both contracts between the insurance company and myself. You are no longer the beneficiary of my $400,000 policy and I am still the beneficiary on your $500,000 policy and will keep making payments on both accounts.

3. The Visa card you are using is a joint account. Neither one of us can close it unless we both approve unless one of us says the card is lost or stolen and that will close the account. You need to set up your own indiviudal credit card account.

4. You and the kids are still covered under my Tri-care Standard health insurance and it will cease when the kids become adults, you remarry, or your work provides you with health care coverage. Tri-care standard has no premiums to pay and covers 80% of health care bills with the remaining 20% to be paid by the beneficiary. The same coverage goes for me.


Household things:
1. There are a million things to split up. It would be helpful if you could start compiling a list of things you want. Everything from photo albums, CD's, DVD's, X-mas decorations, dishes, furniture, kid clothes, games, toys, etc. The list is endless.

2. Some stuff we can dispose of right now. We have two boxes of "Outstanding Wife" awards (a made up award I gave her every year on our anniversary for the first 12 years). I am sure you don't want those and I don't want a box of award's from my Ex-wife. We can just pitch those kind of things and do not have to wait. I will not pitch anything without your knowledge.

3. I still want to get the kids a full size bed each. You can keep the single beds and sheets for your new place.

4. Probably need to start saving boxes for your move.

5. Cousin said we can borrow his pick-up truck and it can tow a U-haul.


With all that has happened to us I still recommend you see an individual counselor.

- Family transition from Japan back to the States
- My dad passing away
- Son's anger issues
- Kids' transition from daycare to schools
- Murder of neighbors
- Getting rid of one pet
- Having the other pet lose a leg
- My retirement transition
- The loss of a child in Oct (pregnancy)
- The Divorce
- The transition to life after the Divorce

All of the above is a lot for anyone to handle and it is easier when a professional is there to help. I will be on my 7th session with my counselor since I have filed for divorce. While they may not always have the answers, they do make it easier to cope and it is not the same as marriage counseling. Your 20% share of the bill would be $22 of the $114 per session.

I have gone to Whiteman AFB today to turn in my active duty ID card and to get my retiree ID card issued. The kids will not require a dependent ID card until age 12. You are required to have your retiree dependent ID if you ever want to use any facility on any military installation. You can get a new retiree dependent ID card issued at Whiteman AFB or not, your choice.

The quicker we can agree on some of this stuff the faster the divorce will be over and we can get on with our lives.

Chuck66