putting my big girl panties on

[flowmom]

Your ship sure has changed course real quick. Are you sure your compass has the correct heading?

You make a very good point Kerry. My compass bearing still does need adjustment. I have made progress on some parenting issues, have more info about how to keep our home, and babysteps towards improving earning. But it's not where it needs to be.

These good guys you have now started dating are a huge distraction and an emotional bandaid. You may tell yourself that you want a friends with benefits, but one side will always want more. There is a good chance someone will get hurt.

Distraction yes. Emotional bandaid? I'm going to give myself credit for having done a LOT of emotional work and for having found healthy ways of getting emotional support from friends/family/DB. Yes, someone could get hurt...isn't that always the way with dating? Like me both of these men are single, separated parents with full lives. Opening the door to a relationship of any kind is taking a risk...and I'm sure that they are just as clear about that as I am.

All I know is that I am ready for some carpe diem. Being open and curious and engaging with men is a good 180 for me.

Be careful with your heart right now. It can cause procrastination on more important things you need done in your life right now.

Thank you for that caution. You're right that I need to focus on the priorities in my life. I'm making progress, but not where I want to be with that.

FWIW, my closest allies feel that I'm emotionally ready to date. They are smart and know me well, so that reassures me that my choice is not totally foolish.