Wife filed for divorce...Is there still hope?

[pinhead]

LSG,

When I learned I had cancer, I was really scared. Scared of dying, scared of the pain I foresaw, scared of the procedures, scared of chemo. How I got through them was thinking about one thing at a time, thinking about my daughters, and how I wanted to be there as they grew up. I was still scared, all the time, but I acted the best I could. I made my appointments, I took my meds, I made sure my will etc was complete. I made peace with God. I accepted that my life was in his hands, and that however things turned out, it'd be okay.

Now I've turned the corner in my sitch. I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do (HA!), but I know that I'll be okay in the end. I'm planning a bunch of home improvements that I want that would never have passed the wife's approval. I've bought two kittens when she hates cats, and I've always acquiesced to her over this.

Look back in your life at the tough, tough, times. Find strength in them, use them as a lever to move yourself. If you can't remember any good examples, make one now!

[Dazed&Confused]

LSG,

You can't loose yourself in this. You have come too far to even think about that right now. That would be like quitting on mile 26 of a marathon! You have gone through too much, and you have kept your kids interests at heart. You just can't forget about yourself!

Keep that trailer and kitty cat thought alive. You have things to look forward to. It's just the uncertainty that is killing you. I am going through the same thing as we speak. Not knowing what will happen suck! But none of us can tell the future. Tomorrow could be the best day of your life, you just never know. And if it is, I bet you will feel really silly for feeling so bad today, right?

I try and remind myself that my kids will always be my kids, and I will always be their Daddy. There is nobody on the face of this earth that can change that. The rest just comes down to decisions. Do I want to be the best Father possible? Do I want to be happy? Will I move on with my life to allow this to happen? God, that is so simple! I am going to have to remember those three questions!

Keep your head up man. Go somewhere private and let those tears out. Nothing wrong with that. I can only really let them flow when I talk to my Mother on Skype about my sitch, but it helps. Then pick yourself up, fill your head with good memories of your kids, and carry on. Continue doing your best, because you are correct, that is all that you can do.

PH,

That was a heart wrenching story for me, but you are right, but how you dealt with it is exactly how I am "trying" to deal with mine. I hope all is well with you!

D&C

[dad1b1g]

LSG, as we've said before, our sitch are similar in that we both are SAHD and are now being forced into the job market, and a job market that is basically non-existant. Either the job search or the D would be hard enough on it's own but together it is a whole new kind of suck...

But we will get through this, we have to for our kids and ourselves. I had a really difficult day yesterday and broke down in the middle of getting the last of my equipment ready to sell. I cried, I admit it, it felt horrible at the time, but actually cleared my head so that the rest of the afternoon was something I could deal with again. I don't know what today will bring but I will deal with it as it comes while working on what I HAVE to do, take care of myself and the kids.

hang in there, one way or another it will work itself out.

praying for you,

[idontunderstand]

Hey, LSG.

Never apologize for sounding weak here. This is the place to do it. We all understand. Don't let you W see it. You would have to be a robot to not be emotionally affected by this, so don't be so hard on yourself.

I know you are dreading the hearing. I have read many times on here that the days leading up to it are the worst. Many times people feel better afterward. Tell yourself you are one of them. It is almost never as bad as you anticipate. Your W has you scared and worried. I understand. That's what she is trying to do. Don't let her get to you. I really hope that the hearing is an eye opener for her. I really don't think everything will go as she has planned. Be prepared.

You are moving closer to a better life. Hard to see right now. I have trouble convincing myself of it. But if you step back and look and think, you know it is true. We know it's true. We deserve better. We are worried about our kids. That's out of our control. I know you will do everything you can to help them through this and they will also help you.

Take care.

[Chuck66]

Just go in there with your hair slicked back like in a scene from the movie "Wall Street." Show confidence and never let them see you sweat!

Good luck at the hearing!

[LSG]

PH,

You really choked me up inside with what you have survived. You have had some very difficult times, and I feel for you so much. It takes a very strong person come through what you have.

Now you are in another life changing situation, and you are still positive, and I see that I have to survive what is happening in my life. I know it is not cancer like you went through, but it is far the most difficult situation I have ever had to experience.

I have looked back at so much, and I have tried to find out what I have done to get through them, and it is being happy with who I am that has brought me through.

You brought me some perspective.

I keep up with your sitch,and your optimism helps to keep going.

Thank you!

[LSG]

D&C,

You are right I can't lose myself in this. I have keep going everyday. It will not be easy, but life is not easy. I am trying keep myself in mind too. I have to do this. There is just too much for me to fight for.

I hate the LIMBO, and it does suck so bad, and you are right tomorrow is new day, and it will be a good one. I know that.

Do remember the three questions that you wrote because I am thinking of them right now, and I won't forget them either.

Today did turn out good for me, and I am glad I just left the home for awhile with the kids and enjoyed them. I look forward to tomorrow. I will be okay, and I will keep saying this.

Thank you for keep me on tract, and I will focus on what needs to be done on Monday.

[LSG]

Dad1b1g,

You are right that our sitches are similar. Both being and unemployed and the Big D are a struggle, but I do feel that I have become a stronger more focused person from what has happened. I know I can do anything, and I know I have to. It still sucks, and I could not agree with you more on that.

We both will be okay because I doing what needs to be done for ourself and the kids. Always remember that, and you make it through each. You are doing so good as I mentioned in your thread. Keep it up.

I found after I cried and let it out that it helped me to make it through today. I will make it through tomorrow too.

It is not fun, but it does get better even with the occasional backslides.

Thanks being her for me today!

[LSG]

IDU,

I appreciate you understanding. I just felt I let myself done and was backsliding too much today. I have not let W see me that way, and I will not I hope.

I hope I will feel better after the hearing. I am expecting the worst and hoping for the best, so I am not let down. I will admit that W has done a real number on me. She did not get to me today, and I will explain that in my journal entry soon. I hope you are right that this will open her eyes. They may have been opened just a little today.

You are moving closer to a better life. Hard to see right now. I have trouble convincing myself of it. But if you step back and look and think, you know it is true. We know it's true. We deserve better. We are worried about our kids. That's out of our control. I know you will do everything you can to help them through this and they will also help you.

I agree with everything you have said. You remember this too because it will help you as you move forward with your sitch. There are some difficult times, but you know what to expect, and you will keep in mind what you wrote to make it through.

You will be okay too.

I believe in you.

Thanks!

[LSG]

Chuck66,

I only wish I had enough hair these days to slick back. I do intend to go in there full of confidence and looking my best.

I appreciate the vote of confidence that you have give me.

Thanks for the good wishes you have given me.