i don't want this to turn into a competition but i think my sitch is pretty hopeless. my h went dark on me! no contact and avoids me at all cost.
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My H is much better today about confronting/standing up to his parents than he was when we first got together.
things were great when we were first together. as the years went by, they kept repeating over and over again how they were going to die. they were going to die. they were going to die. they can't live without him. they don't want to lose him. and did i mention .. they were going to die?
why would parents do that to their own son?
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I haven't posted over there. Just my one thread in Infidelity. I wasn't quite sure where I supposed to post when I first signed up.
the only reason why i ask is because i've read some of the advice there. and i was just wondering what you thought of the advice and whether you think it's something that would work for you.
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Same here. And even if you try to guide them and give the resources and teach them... it's like that old saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". I get to this point, and then sometimes find myself wondering "Is any of this worth it? What am I doing to myself?"
a few days ago, i still had some hope. but after getting some info from allen a, i've lost all hope in my sitch.
my h's case is so severe that there is no fixing it. the only way he's going to change is when mom & dad pass. h will d-file as soon as our separation agreement is complete. i wish he wouldn't drag it out for so long. if he wants out, then just get out. our separation agreement isn't that complicated.
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It's really hard for me to think that, one way or another, that is now being delayed for who-knows-how-long because of H's immaturity and irresponsibility. I either have to wait for him to grow up, or try to find another, truly worthy man to start a family with. There's no easy choice.
at least your h didn't tell you that he didn't have confidence in your ability to handle motherhood. i got that nice gem tossed my way.
there is no easy way. i have a very hard time trusting anyone. after this fiasco, i've sworn off men. i told my mom i'll just hit the sperm bank in about a year's time. she was okay with it. my old fashioned mother.
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So he feels like he needs to connect with them as much as possible while they're still around. Even if it's unhealthy, and only perpetuates their lack of a life outside of their sons.
i know he gets annoyed with his parents. but they lay the guilt on so thick that you can't get away from it. cuz all you hear is how they're going to die. i can't imagine anybody living that way.
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Makes me think that if I ever do end up in the dating pool again, I'm going be carefully scrutinizing the parents of any possibly marriage partners, and their relationship with their parents. Clearly these kind of parent/child dynamics create some predictable (and destructive) patterns!
no dating pool for me. i have to admit, i went on a coffee date and i realize that i'm still the same girl i was before i met my h. i'm just not a dating type of person. it's not for me.
marriage is something i only do once. i wouldn't do this again.
