I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[awest1217]

You should try teaching lower level high school science students. I have plenty of stories.

Good job on the pregnancy weight. I had about 4 pounds to go with S at 18 months when H left so then I lost way too much. Everyone would ask me what I did to lose the weight. I said stress and I don't recommend it. Now I have gained back 10 lbs so I am at a healthy body weight (although I will lose some when I go back to work). I just have the infamous baby belly. If only I could find time to do pilates I know it would help a lot, but between S and work and church...not much time for me. Keep it up!

I also enjoy the rush of being a teacher. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. My best memory so far is watching a "dance off" happen in the cafeteria commons when I was on duty and 9 months pregnant (honestly about to blow). The principal came out and asked what was happening. I said a dance off and he said we should break it up, but man it was funny because it was a kid who couldn't dance at all against this awesome dancer. So much fun! Then there was the senior who would come to class every day late and have the best excuses like "the train stopped me in the hallway". Man I love my job!

[newmama]

Took the evening walk....lovely! Listened to Blink182, Aretha Franklin and All American Rejects (When you see my face, hope it gives you Hell!)

But stbxh returned S and his fever is back! So it means another day of TLC, (and being housebound).It is just a cold, luckily, and my instincts are not telling me it is worse. That is why I do not sound more concerned, fyi!

Oh and WN- I didn't realize you used to teach! What did you teach? And why did you stop? As for the belly dancing, I think I would like to take it again sometime, but do not want to use up every Tuesday night that I have to go to the class instead of being free to work, or go out with friends or just have down time.

[soleil]

Took the evening walk....lovely! Listened to Blink182, Aretha Franklin and All American Rejects (When you see my face, hope it gives you Hell!)

Ah, I love that All American Rejects song!

Have you ever tried Zumba? It's an awesome work out!

[newmama]

S actually got worse.. he must have an ear infection! I'm taking him to the dr. and stbxh is going, too. He will pick him up and take him back with him.

I wish I didn't have to see stbxh there...wait with him in the lobby and in the room...seriously! I don't like him right now!!!!!!!!!!!! I don;t want to make small talk! barf.

[newmama]

OK, turns out S is ok. His dr. said it was totally appropriate to bring him in today since it was the 3rd day of his fever and since he was being fussy. (He woke up from his morning nap all out of sorts and not like himself). She did want to get a chest x-ray to check for pneumonia but there were no signs of infection. It shocked me that she wanted to check! But at least stbxh took him back there, not me, and he said I wouldn't have liked it because they put him in this contraption... poor guy!

Now, I did decide that if I had to see stbxh, I might as well look good! So I wore some tight denim capris and a clingy shirt that showed curves in the right places. I styled my hair, wore perfume, put on nice make-up, wore hoop earrings.

Just talked to my male friend (who is going through a divorce)and he is dating someone but they moved too fast! In 3 weeks, they are calling each other "hon," they see each other almost every day, of course they had done the deed....but she is saying "I have strong feelings for you" and saying "I miss you!" and texting him constantly. He is feeling suffocated and also is worried about hurting her because she obviously is more crazy about him than he is about her. But he is also kind of leading her on, IMO, because he is saying "sure, we can hang out tomorrow" when he could be making other plans instead, you know? I recommended that to him....however, you can take a horse to water but you can't make him drink!

[flowmom]

Hi newmama

Congratulations on how you're doing with your weight and fitness...I know that you've literally worked your ass off .

And your fling...good for you. It sounds like it was really fun. Yes, it's not easy to manage one's expectations, but I agree with you...we weren't designed to be alone as adults. That is not some magical ideal to aspire to, to be complete within oneself.

I believe that a self-aware person can own her mistakes, and move forward with dating/relationships before being "perfectly" ready. It requires eyes open, responsible communication, recognizing problems as they arise, and being committed to tackling them. I am not a big believer in putting off life until one is sufficiently evolved. Most people experience personal evolution through relating to others, and you can't do that work in the isolated test tube of solitude.

Some may feel that I'm "not ready" to date. You know what? I wasn't ready for the years of enforced near-celibacy and lack of emotional connection that I experienced in my marriage.

Grade 2s are really cute. I hope that this will be a great year for you

[newmama]

FM, thank you! And I have zero reservations for you in regard to your decision to date, based only on what you have posted on your thread and here! You go, Flow!
I must say that for me, it has been more good than bad.

I am taking a break in between my work out to post some thoughts, though, about seeing zoobrew again (IF that possibility even exists since he may very well be reuniting with his exG at the beach or something, lol!)

Pros: fun, pleasure, interesting, entertainment, ego boost, validation, something to do

Cons: he is such a great catch that I could get attached, am not ready for that, do not like the idea of a relationship at this time, would be thinking about him in between seeing him, would feel scared, would feel worried, need to focus on balancing work and S, would know that I would need to end it.

As you can see, the cons outweigh the pros.

What does that mean? It means if he is reconciling with his exG, it is a good thing for me!

And yet I really really really enjoyed meeting him and it helped me waaaaaaay more than hurt!

It was just what I needed at this time in my life.

But I do need to get my damn ring back somehow!

[gatsby11]

Y'all are hilarious; it's been fun reading.

Good job on workin' on your fitness, NM; it's really inspiring.

Loved 'It's Complicated.'

Excited for both of us for school-- 2nd grade? little uns! (I've got those 8th graders, grr....)

Blink 182? Oh....

[newmama]

8th graders drive me bonkers....way more immature than 2nd graders (at school that is!) I enjoy that age group in like a camp setting or any non school setting. BLESS YOU, Gatsby, for taking them on. Especially through special ed. One year, I taught special ed for middle school and those kids ran me through the ringer! I felt for them in the sense that it has to be soooo hard to have a disability + special ed services+ social pressures to fit in at their age.

I finished "It's Complicated..." tonight and there were a couple of things that stood out.

First, Jake told her that he never stopped loving her....she said that she gave up on him before he gave up on her.

They both didn't regret their affair....I was disturbed more by it the first time I watched the movie, but this time it kind of felt "fair" that they had the A.

It was soooooo satisfying to see Agnes (Jake's OW wife) feel the pain and jealousy of watching Jake look at Jane with desire, hurt, and jealousy while she danced with Adam.

Oh but so sad to see the adult kids so happy to see their parents together for a brief evening. I do wonder if S will still have "reuniting" fantasies even though he never saw us "together."

[Mrs. A]

NM, you won't let S have reuniting fantasies. Parents set that up when they say, "If only your father had done this," or, "I tried, but your mother had her mind made up."

You and I say those things HERE - you DON'T say them to DS!!!!!

And you won't. You are sooooo balanced because you work at it! And DS probably will never appreciate it or thank you for doing the work, but it most definitely will pay off! We only just ever hope that we can learn from our parents' mishaps and neuroses and that our children can learn from ours! But YOU are actually WORKING to make that happen.

(Biggest suck-up post on DB EVER - but I really mean it!!!!!!)