Half Way There

[BeingMe]

Also meant to say that their reality is the consequences of their stupid actions. No-one gets a 'for free' ride when a spouse is in MLC. Everyone they know gets some MLC splatter. And the closer the relationship, the heavier the splatter. Once one knows how to avoid it, things start to look up, and it gets a lot easier, and I think you're at that stage.

[ltaylor]

How you doing today Punkin?

[punkin]

Hi everybody,

Well leave it to my H to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I did email him this a.m. to tell him that as soon as I heard from my lawyer, he would hear from me. This is the reply I got:

Ok cool I got it, after visiting with D24 yesterday she said you were going to watch the boys while she went to Fort Smith to trade in her car. When go you think this will be taking care of. So I can get another closing date locked in. Like I said, still willing to sit down and work things out before a judge has to. This papers are just for the loan company to know that you are aware of this loan, you will not be on the loan, the deed, morgage, or anything. You don't have to believe me, just call Exxxx back. She told me she explained this to you when you called her. But anyway you already told me that. Thanks,


He still seems just as determined to bull his way through this divorce whether I want it or not. No mention of seeing me yesterday. Being Me, my step son would not have made the uncomfortable error of coming up to me when his father obviously was avoiding me. It puts him in an awkward place, too. He did tell me that he hadn't talked to his Dad in almost a month because he refused to go on a vacation with him and chickie poo.

I knew not to expect any sort of response, but still . . .

I know the answer to this, but I should not initiate any R talk at all, should I? In other words, I should not make the effort to contact him and tell him I am not ready for a divorce? It would be better for me to sit quitely and wait, right? Just need the reassurance.

[seeking answers]

You got it Punkin, say nothing. Let him sit and sweat it out.

Hopefully your L has some big surprises in store.

[crushednstuck]

Congratulations on finding your "calm". I hope it is carrying you through, strengthening your resolve today.

[irishblessings]

Punkin -

You are in charge - you do not need to be pushed to sign anything - when YOU have time!

Keep conrol:)

IB

[punkin]

Thanks all - I'm still very calm, just very sad that his entire focus seems to be on getting away from me as quickly as possible.

Everyone says only an idiot would buy property during a divorce proceeding. My lawyer can't believe it.

Nothing has moved forward on the divorce, although he keeps hinting at a settlement, "before it goes to a judge".

I really don't think he wants that to happen, but I'm afraid once he gets this property, should my lawyer tell me it's okay to sign, that he will start letting things go here. I built up the credit he has today, and he could destroy mine if I am forced to let the house go. The payment on it is almost exactly what I make a month.

[punkin]

By the way, I'd love a beer right now, but I drank them all last Thursday night before my nervous breakdown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[seeking answers]

I would think that your L would come up with something to benefit you in a trade off if you agreed to sign???

I don't think your H would want to go in front of a judge either. He probably wouldn't be looked to kindly on.

[BeingMe]

Not sit quietly, but actively slow things down behind his back. By the time you settle, it should be for as much as you can get, since you are the one that was careful with funds, etc. You kept the home fires burning.

Remember, this is money and property you are safeguarding in the small chance that he comes back. Not wasted on OW.