1. C came back last night around 9 - I was there with puppy and got a nice kiss and hug (several) but I still sense that she is holding on tight to the top of that fence. the interesting thing is that I really don't care. Is that detatching? 2. She did notice that I was very tired (did not sleep well night before) and said I could spend the night but that she needed to streach out so I would have to stay in the Guest room. I told her that I needed to go home, and would likely get a better night sleep in my own bed. The positive is that I feel good about myself.
Quote: 2. She did notice that I was very tired (did not sleep well night before) and said I could spend the night but that she needed to streach out so I would have to stay in the Guest room. I told her that I needed to go home, and would likely get a better night sleep in my own bed. The positive is that I feel good about myself.
Awesome dude (sorry watched Nemo this weekend). Sometimes it's nice to have the bed to yourself, isn't it? And that the other person accepts it as just needing some space to stretch and not taking it personally.
Odga, Yes I think I would classify that as detaching. And I think it was great about you going him to your own bed. And even better that you felt good about you! We all need space, and it's nice we can respect our partner choices!
When she got home I had been there about 1 hour or just a little more. I turned on her Christmas tree and turned up the heat just a hair so it would be warm when she got in. after she got home we sat and talked some and looked at and admired her tree.
Last year I bought a really nice angel tree topper that had lots of colors in it (one of those fiber optics things) when we put up the tree she said I could take it for my tree but I insisted that we use it on hers and she said she would get me another one for mine. She later said that the angle made the tree.
Well, while looking at her tree, she said she had looked for another angel tree topper for me but that she could not find one and I said that we might find one on sale right after Christmas so I would have one for next year. She responded that I would have one for next year no matter what. Although she did not say it, I kinda got the feeling that she meant that we would be using the same one. I don't know what she meant but I will act as if.
I have been kinda down all day and our IM was a little sparse. But I just sent her a "HUG" icon with nothing else and she responded with one of her own. I said "thanks I needed that" and she responded "I did too" then alittle more chitchat. - PMA back up a notch or two.
Well I had a Court hearing this morning on a ticket I got from an accident several months ago. The hearing has been reset for several months and this morning we were sucessful in getting the ticket dropped. that was a great relief.
Unfortunately, I stopped by the Superior Court Clerks office and got a copy of the Final order of Divorce from October. I had never gotten a copy and I really needed a copy for my records. However, in reading it I got really down (on top of the fact that she dropped the Bomb 4 months ago today) and when I got to the office I IM-ed C about it. I do not think it went to well. I told her that until now I had not really considered myself divorced but that seeing it in print brought home the fact that it was a done deal. She said to not let that get me down and I said I was not down and that I has set myself goals and was working toward them. I had set aside some $ and that before my lease endes next summer I should have plenty to put down on a new house. She then asked what I wanted her to say and that she felt that I was rubbing it in. I told her that I did not mean to make her feel bad. she then said that Maybe she is just feeling bad about it. I told her that I was sorry if I made her feel bad and she said OK - then she said she had to go see a client and would catch me later.
Guess I need to really work on my PMA before our Date this weekend. Being down is likely not the best DBing technique and I do want her to be happy when she is with me. So I will back off some, lick my emotional wounds from seeing the final order, and think about positives.
There are some positives too, I had two window Air Conditioners to store in the Shed behind her house (with all the rest of my stuff) and since her house is close to the courthouse I went by this morning to drop them off. Fixed her Coffee and she fixed me Breakfast and we talked some before I went to court. I seem to have developed a tickle in my throat which give me a slight cough from time to time along with a slight headache at the base of my head, and I generally just felt "Blah" Well, while I was tanding at the Coffee machine refilling my cup she came up behind me and started rubbing my back and neck and it really felt good, she finished with a big hug from behind and a kiss on the back of my neck.
Now, file the D papers and go back through your journal and read all of the positives you have going on. They are numerous!!! I wish I had even half of your positives!
So pick the PMA up. We don't want to start a downward trend on the bb we know how it progresses around if we let it get started!
As I told Deb, UP, UP and AWAY with the PMA!!
Besides next year you are going to have a Christmas Angel!!!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
