How To Tell The Kids

[A_goodman]

Dan,

Glad to see you're not on the boards much. I hope you and the kids are having a blast.

I have to agree with BeingMe and R2C. I know you are going to harness all your business mojo and be the most prepared guy that ever stepped into the mediation arena. In the mean time, run silent, run deep.

Talk to you later bro.

[DanF]

Today is thursday. We left on Sat and I haven't initiated any calls or texts to W. D finally talked to her for a little while yesterday, but S still hasn't.

W has texted about how the kids are doing and a couple of other issues and I have been sure to be slow to respond. She also called on Tuesday and told me all about her own day on Monday that she spent at a local lake with her friends and how tired she was. I have been getting less of these conversations from W, but I think that is mostly because I am not around as much.

The kids are having a great time on vacation and I am thankfully getting lots of help from my Mom.

Gotta try to finish-up a few issues for work today and then find something else fun to do. S wants to golf again, but D doesn't.

AG, I'll talk with you about preparing gills when I have time. It is pretty easy.

[Ready2Change]

Here is a good statement

You are setting precedent now, don't let your spouse set the precedent.

[BeingMe]

Sounds like a brilliant holiday. Keep up the 'no iniciation' (sp?) to WAW. Her talking about her day with friends, might be a way of getting you to open up and chat, and so lower your guard. I don't know if she is wily in that way, but you never know. Be careful not to talk about anything pertaining to separation or divorce. I guess we are all being rather repetitive about this.

Take care.

[DanF]

Repetition is good. Sometimes I need it pounded in. I've already made too many mistakes.

Thanks all!

[DanF]

Well, we're back from vacation and we had a great time. Lots of fishing, golf, campfires, cigars, etc. Grandma was a HUGE help. Thank God for devoted mother's!

I didn't miss W at all except for about 5 minutes when my D wasn't feeling well and started to cry, but I pulled her up, got her some fluids and food and she recovered quickly.

W sent a few texts and called early in the week as I mentioned previously. She called again on Friday morning and said she thought she should check-in since she hadn't really heard from us all week. I talked with her a bit and was cordial, but not overly friendly. I got a text from my neighbor who had talked to W on Wednesday. She said that W told her her weight loss is due primarily to stress and that she didn't think she would be able to handle the kids being away for a week, but that she was doing fine.

When we got home, W helped with unpacking a little bit and started some laundry, but I did most of the unpacking with a little help from the kids.

Shortly after we got home, W took the kids to return some clothes and get ice cream and has now taken them to the "Cats and Dogs" movie. I was also told that she is taking the kids to a waterpark next weekend with her brother's family. Maybe the kids will actually enjoy this divorce, they are getting to do more activities and events than ever. Just kidding, but they do seem to be handling things well. When I told them last week that I would be moving out by Sept. 1st, their only reaction was, OK.

I guess I am ready to move on. I don't even know if I would want to put the work into this R anymore unless she suddenly became VERY motivated and I just don't see that happening. Time to get the placement of the kids, payments and division of property settled and move forward.

Thanks to all for your help. Next big events are Mediation for the kids placement and moving out. My new life is starting to look pretty good, even from here!

[LSG]

DanF,

Ready or not, you and I and others just have to move on. It is not easy, but it will be okay.

The kids will not react as much as we think, but they do feel a lot more than we realize. It is just their way of coping with a difficult situation.

I feel the same way about my M. I am not willing to put anymore work into the R unless something dramatic were to happen. I guess it helps us to heal.

You are doing great. Stay positive!!!

[DanF]

Sitting here watching the Packer's game and W is cutting coupons. She hasn't done this for years. Her attitude before was that it takes too much time to use coupons, when she didn't have to worry about money. What a joke!

[Fightingforher]

Dan,

It's amazing how moving out changes things. I hadn't realized how much anxiety I had until she left the house. Out of sight Out of mind, it really does work. No more wondering how late she's going to be, who is she talking too, who is she texting???

It's such a relief. You only have a couple more weeks until freedom.

I hear what your saying about the W's wanting to save money. My W is feeling it now. I got home this weekend and she had moved everything out. She even went through the Fridge and took the ketchup and mustard so avoid having to buy it...LOL

It's a hard reality when you've had someone to financially support you for so long. They will start to feel the pressure soon enough.

[Ready2Change]

Hi Dan,

Time to get the placement of the kids, payments and division of property settled and move forward...Next big events are Mediation for the kids placement and moving out. My new life is starting to look pretty good, even from here!

How can we help?