My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[ClingingToHope]

I read something on gardener's thread that I've heard before, even said before--but it sank in at a different level. The man who left me is much closer to the real person than the one I fell in love with. For years I waited for that guy to show back up, and I did all kinds of internal gymnastics to make him resurface--but he was long gone.

This is from a couple of pages ago. It's something I'm realizing now.

I fell in love and married someone on the potential of what I thought they could be. I thought I could bring STBXW out of her shell and we'd experience all these amazing moments together.

As time went on and life got disappointing and difficult -- it's life afterall -- she retreated more and more back into the quiet, suspicious, wallflower she was when we met.

So I guess I failed in my efforts to change/help her. The problem was it was probably doomed from the start. The person she is now is the person she was then. In between was a mirage.