Well, there's a natural grief process and I'm sure you are going through it.
The only way for you to reconcile with your W is one of two ways, in my opinion: You either have to go the Exposure route that Allen does such a great job helping out with, or you have to go the "Letting Go"/Tough Love approach and just go dark... In either case, the only way you shine the light back to your marriage for your wife is through getting your own life, becoming a self-confident, attractive man again - the one she was attracted to in the first place, with tons of self respect!
Both options take a lot of work and patience. Meanwhile, you just be the best dad and LSG you can be! You need to try to make W wonder, "What's changed about him? Why is he acting differently? Why is he no longer baited into arguments with me or chasing after me? Why's he so happy and confident?"
