Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

Well, new developments.

I went home for lunch after taking S4 to the library for story time. We had a great time. Ate lunch with W.

She then asked me why I was upset this morning. I told her that I wasn't. She asked me again, and said, "Don't lie to me, just tell me."

I told her that I did not like living in this limbo situation, and that it was frustrating to me. She agreed that she felt the same way.

I told her that I was making another appointment with the MC. She said, "Ok...." I tried to leave it at that. She then said, I think I should write the MC with how I feel. I told her that was a good idea. So, she's in the middle of writing an email to the MC, which she said she would let me read.

We're about to see what she's been feeling, and to be honest, I'm scared this might be the determining factor in whether she stays or goes. I don't know anymore. Anxiety is back up again, but I'm holding it together in front of her.

She also said that tonight we should sit down and come up with a list of boundaries. I told her that I already had mine, and I was prepared to share them with her if she would like me to. She said that would be good.

I guess what sucks the most is that we married when W19 and M23. We were very young, and were never given any tools to work on our marriage with. We never knew about boundaries or respect or the like, so our marriage inevitably started to fail on day #1, we just did not know it. That's frustrating. The MC we have is prepared to give us all those tools, and then some, and that's exciting to me. But, we may never be given the opportunity if my W decides she just doesn't want to do it. Bummer.

Feeling pretty down right now.