Hey CD, Wow super advice here. As I have said I am still in the trenches too. Pretty much made the same mistakes that Steady is describing.
I understand your concern about previous marital complaints. I would suggest responding to some of the emails that don't have anything to do with your D. However I would only respond as "busy now get back with you later" then never do so. You have acknowledge her attempt to contact you, meaning that you are willing to communicate with her about things other than your D, but you never do, this will get under her skin and she will eventually ask you in person.
In person is the only time I would restate your boundary, about being her friend while she is still engaged in her affair. This way you will be able to gage her response. I can't tell you how many times I have sent a text or email, only to have it ignored. This will tear you up wondering, so if you don't do it then you will not experience those feelings.
The other thing, is that the boundary needs to be enforced out of love for your W. Gage your tone and words, stay calm and factual and I would state that "you know what I need in order to have any type of R with you." I think you are communicating that there is a possibility of reconcilliation without saying it.
I think that you are seeing progress.....SLOOOOWWWWWLLLLLYYYY. Stay the course, remember the smallest CONSISTENT behaviors will be noticed more than anything else.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
