New to the Forum - my story

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Yes, detaching is indeed a very gruelling task. I try so hard to follow the advice - to step away and give her space. I just cannot comprehend how she will see any change in me, if she isn't around me to see it. How she can gain any trust or respect for me again, if I do not have the opportunity to give it to her. I feel if I step away and not share what I am doing or going through. She will feel I just gave up, and that it would validate her decision to end our M. Because I really wasn't committed like I say I am. Its a really tough spot. I feel that she thinks I am trying to manipulate my way back into an old cycle - hence the wall. If I don't have any contact with her about our R, then she shes it as me wanting to be D as well

Ok,
early on you beg,pleaded said you would change etc.

How did that work out???

I have been there, done that. It doesn't work. Trust me.

For me and my sitch, I think once that I gave up working on the M and trying to win her back was when she felt it ease.
That's when she can really think clearly.

For me May was my turning point, nearly 9 months into it.
I finnaly detach FULLY. and realized that I am going to be OK No matter what the outcome.

I started to take control of my happiness and future.
After she said she wanted a D and didn't follow through on it, I was the one who intiated the process.

Now 4 months after I "gave up" she wants to talk to me.
She knows I have dating and according to some here(Gucci and Puppy) once they WAW knows you have moved on, their feelings will change.

Your actions are going to feel couter productive. If they do then you know you're doing the right thing.

If I don't have any contact with her about our R, then she sees it as me wanting to be D as well.

Not true. View it as you don't want the same R as before not a D.
Big difference.

Your old R is dead, that's a good thing.

You are now in training for a better you.
That's what she'll notice.