Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

I think that I have decided to take the lead on this sitch with W.

I'm not going to give her an ultimatum, but I will express my feelings as the following:

- I understand (validation) that she is confused now, and that she is trying for this marriage by staying in this home. I appreciate that.
- Given all that I have read and understood throughout this sitch independent of personal sitch, I do not believe we can resolve our conflicts without MC help.
- Therefore, I will take the lead on this situation, and as long as she wants to stay in this house, that means that she "wants to want this marriage."
- If she is going to continue to "try" by staying in this house, which I applaud her for, then it should be productive. MC is the only way that can be productive.
- Therefore, she has given an answer already, in fact two months ago to the question that the MC asked in our session on Monday.
- MC is required by both of us, not to resolve our differences per say, but to understand them. If we understand them clearly without anger or resentment, it is possible that we can move past them in whatever R we may have.
- I will not ask her to make concessions to anything she does not want to do. That is a new rule in our new M, if there is to be one.

After she is in MC with the new T:

- From this day forward, she will have a say in how our M operates, as will I, and they will be equal voices. We will set boundaries, and inform the other of those boundaries.
- Again, she will make no concessions, and neither will I. We can make compromises, which give both parties something mutually beneficial to the R, but not concessions, which gives one party something and the other nothing.


I think those are some good thoughts. Anyone?