For future posts try to have more paragraph breaks.
It sounds like your W was trying to work on the M leading up to her departure. I have exprienced that too. Now that you "get it" it appears to be too late.
Good news is that even though your W said these these doesn't mean there is no hope.
Bad news is it's going to take even once of patience and hard work on your part to change your situation.
You said you have read DR, that's great. Have you been applying the techniques?
You also siad your are and have always been happy with your W, I'm not sure if that's true. Especially since you were talking to OW about personal issues.
Your W set a boundary after she found out about your EA. You broke it and she followed through with what she said she would do.
Right now you need to focus your energies on yourself. Do not think about what your wife is doing and with whom, it will only eat you up.
PLease take no offense to anything said, it's just how I see it.
People here will say things you may not agree with but be open to different perspectives.
gr8
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
