I think the 'calm' that you feel comes from truly starting to understand what you're dealing with and accepting that all you really can control is yourself.
It's not to say that you won't ever be angry or hurt by your H again, but you have your footing with it now and know how to handle it.
Detachment really is for you and with it brings a sense of relief.
I've said this before. I really admire your strength through out your sitch. Your H is a fool and I hope he wakes up in time to realize what he's trying to throw away.
