I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[TimeHeals]

I have dated a bit. It was h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e. And I was the horrible one because the man I went on dates with was actually pretty great. I have never felt so trapped and exposed in my life. I actually contemplated feigning a heart attack to get out of the restaurant but figured that would not be a plausible option as he was a doctor. The bathroom had no windows (I looked) and I silently prayed *somebody* would call me and tell me my house was on fire (not all of it but enough to have to run home!).

LOL. I have been on such dates: when everything seems forced and awkward.

Your honesty is refreshing

We all have our "lists" of what we would like to find in a future partner but IMO that is much different than planning on having a partner. Sometimes people just come along and it's a delightful surprise that enhances an otherwise happy life.

My experience with "lists" is that they are crap in the end. Aside from the basics--character, confidence, and self-control--I don't think people need much more in a partner other than some real, genuine empathy and the ability to actively listen (and these things are a two-way street).

I made lists of things for years, and I started to feel like episodes of "Seinfeld".