He files, and any good attorney you get will have him pay your attorney fees also. You do not want the D so let him do the work and pay. Just remember to protect yourself.
Would you please try something? Try to back way off. Let your H have so much space he chokes on it. Do not discuss your R with him at all. If he calls and starts in, tell him you have to go and will talk to him later. If he's there and starts in, walk away.
TT is right, all you're doing by thinking about this all the time is making yourself crazy. You can't do anything to stop your H from doing or saying the things he does. What you can stop is how you react to them. Consistently start doing the opposite of what you have been doing when your H starts in. Give it a good honest chance to work and see if it makes any difference for YOU.
