New Game- Exposed

[steady]

...and if my W is softening since the mediator (I brought up the A again) and she cried about something I said,

she cried about something you said...tears of guilt? Did she come running back? How much pain have you been through? How much pain are you in?

how do I NOT come off as the "isolated, withdrawn" CD?
i.e more of the same reasoin she left.

Well to not be the isolated/withdrawn CD I suggest you approach your W and tell her you don't want to be the isolated/withdrawn CD. Tell her you are going to buy her and the OM a new house, and maybe a nice car. Let her know you are there for her whenever she wants you so you don't seem isolated and withdrawn.

You aren't isolated and withdrawn. You have friends. You're pucking your guts up here. You are active with your D. You're GALing...

The difference is this - in your M you were isolated and withdrawn WITHOUT healthy boundaries. You were hiding. You had invisible 'boundaries' that no one could see.

Now you draw a very CLEAR boundary that is there for YOUR health and the health of your D. That HEALTHY boundary puts your W on the outside. It's not you withdrawing, it's you putting her on the outside of your circle. You aren't curled up in a ball made of your own little world.

Your world has expanded BECAUSE you set the boundary. You're not hidden, you're standing tall for EVERYONE to see. She can see but she's not allowed to be in your world because she's being banished until she stops her nonsense.

BIG BIG DIFFERENCE.