New Game- Exposed

[steady]

Well that certainly will drive the point home CD. I don't know much about that approach. I think the poison feeds them - more gasoline for them "See, this is why I'm doing what I'm doing".

There is nothing worse than solitary confinement for a person. The worst version of hell that can exist isn't torture...it's being somewhere completely alone.

Personally I think the 'you're dead to me other than the kids' is better for me. I don't want to become that person she believes I am. I don't want to be mean (fuels her engine) I don't want to be nice and a 'friend' (me doormat; no respect) so what does that leave? Apathy?

Now that I've gone back and forth on this, I just realized where I need to tighten up my boundaries. Thanks CD.

[CD Bear]

And now for something difgferent.
I will read it within 10-15. But not respond till I've thought it through. She can "stew in her juices" to see if and when I respond.

If not for D, I'd blow her off of Msngr.

[steady]

I'm not sure I would even send the 'I don't want to be friends' message.

I'd be more inclined to let her ask me... how come you are acting like this? <BAM!!! Here's the answer>

Just don't be her friend. Don't be mean. You don't need to defend nor explain nor justify yourself. Remember?

If she can't figure out why you wouldn't want to be friends with her... my W acts the same way... just can't understand why I wouldn't be feeling just like her...lmao

[CD Bear]

So what was the answer I accidentally gave you? can I have it,too

[steady]

Nothing major. Just came to me when she called me earlier with something about my daughter, I ended with 'have a good night'. It may seem innocent and innocuous, but it's not.

It's a much subtler flavor of what you did. That's what happens, we cut out the bigger things then have to chase the damn small ones out too.

[CD Bear]

That's kind of what I meant regarding the friends text.

When I get an inane thing, ask "Why are you telling me this?

W:blah,blah, something, hinting it's interesting as friends.

M We are not friends.

W:Why?

M: A friend wouldn't do what you're doing to me

[CD Bear]

Sorry, brother.

I don't have a sniff what you are talking about.

Clueless.

[CD Bear]

OK, after all that disjointed stuff, I'm hoping I found a solution to the texts.

If I get another tomoroow, I'm going to say:
M:This is three days in a row of stuff not about the divorce or Calla. Why are you telling me this?

Blah,blah,blah

M: "You wanted want a divorce. You are sleeping with someone else. aren't in love with me nor need me in your life. That precludes us from being friends. Google it"

Or

M:This sounds more like stuff for between a husband and wife

or

M:This is your personal life. You said you wanted a divorce and your affair has me agreeing with you. Your personal life isn't part of mine anymore.

DROP THE ROPE, CD!!!!!

[steady]

Ok, let me splain... I was pretty

You got the text and went into a frienly mode and banter. That's what I would call a 'bigger' thing.

I tell my W 'have a great night' in a phone conversation. That's a 'smaller' thing.

Both of them are the same, come from the same intention...one is big and obvious, the other one is subtle and more devious. But when I said it to her, I knew exactly why I was saying it to her.

It's in the same vein as to why you did what you did in that texting with your W. Same exact thing, just different size. Make sense?

[CD Bear]

I get it now. Had to read it over and over.

It was soft and almost friendly.

But how do you text "apathy?"

and if my W is softening since the mediator (I brought up the A again) and she cried about something I said, how do I NOT come off as the "isolated, withdrawn" CD?
i.e more of the same reasoin she left.