New Game- Exposed

[steady]

CD, I'm going to tell you what Mike from Tennessee used to tell me - discard any future talk. Just toss it aside and put absolutely no weight on it.

I know it's tough to hear that, but I'll tell you from my experience, it will throw you for a loop. She's subconsciously testing you.

On Thanksgiving day 2008 my W told me how grateful she was I was with her, how proud she was of me, My W and I ML the second week of December, she made out with me under mistletoe on Christmas then told me she didn't want to try anymore the second week in January. All that inside of a month and a half. Get it?

Now I'm NOT telling you this because I'm assuming your sitch is gonna go the same way mine did - no one knows where its going to go. Damn, I'm still not exactly sure where mine is going. In all appearances I'm getting a D, but if you asked me in Dec 2008 I would have told you it appeared we were heading toward reconciliation. I'm just telling you this for your own protection.

You have to toe the line and not waver. She's probing your boundaries. Did you ever tell her you didn't want to be friends with her?

You got sucked in. Now pull yourself out.

By the way, I don't see how you would HAVE to move. I'm not sure you can actually move and take your D if you are against it. Courts aren't too fond of that kind of thing.

My W does the same thing. In one breath she's talking to me and acting like nothing's going on, the next breath she's trying to get a restraining order, then the next breath she's acting like nothing is going on. I'm not buying into it.

"Got a great job offer. How do you feel about moving to the balmy climate of (summer resort town)?

At this point in my sitch, I would just ignore it...lol My W is not my friend. My friends don't treat me the way she's treating me. That's my boundary and she will test it constantly.

CD, this woman is having an affair. She is completely disrespecting you. Then she has the gumption to text you like you guys are best friends.

Look at the text as if it was between two different people beside you and your wife. What does it look like?

This woman is not the woman you married CD. It's a wolf in sheep's clothing. She's not that woman until she sets it right - owns her BS, can tell you her issues in detail, and shows you how she's going to fix it. Then and only then do you even consider taking her back.

I know it's tough man. You see something like that and it looks like there's a crack in the dam. You reach in there and try to pry that damn thing open.

If there's a crack there it's because of the boundaries you're setting. If you allow those boundaries to get crossed you lose some of that respect you gained.

When you act as a 'friend' toward her you are sending her the message you are perfectly fine to be friends with her regardless of the fact she is having an affair. Is that true? Is that the message you want to be sending her?

Now if I'm off let me know. Is your goal to be her friend? Do you want to be friends with her while she's with OM? Only you can make that decision. But make it, and stick to it. Decide what would have to happen in order for you to move whatever boundary you set.

No 2x4, just a nudge in a different direction.

And as always, I may be wrong about everything.