[quote=Nikita Belle] at his core, he's still about 15, and that hasn't changed with marriage or becoming a dad. It's really sad. Plus, he's ALWAYS the victim in everything- work, personal life, M, $ issues, etc. /quote]
You must be married to my W's evil twin...
Ah, maybe I am! There seem to be a lot of relations out there among my online friends. This victim mentality is getting old, particularly since I am blamed about 90% of the time for his issues. I kind of hope he doesn't work on this but takes it with him to his next R he tries to make and gets someone who will just bluntly say: that is pathetic. You're 41 and everyone else dictates your life and is "out to get" you. That is so sad. I seem unable to say anything approaching that without a major fight so I don't bother. I just hope he doesn't passs too much of this on to our D. It's no way to live.
Ironically (and it makes me irritated), he constantly labels me as the "complainer" who's "always mad about something"- if he actually stopped to SEE me and pay attention he'd realize I do very little of this anymore, though I may have in the past. I take care of my stuff and responsibility for it, too. And with the exception of him and his behavior, I don't really have anger towards anyone. He, OTOH, is just like oppressed man everyone's trying to keep down and the anger is at a constant near-boil stage with him, it escapes fairly often these days when he lashes out at me. I am sick of this fantasy he's made up about me and how I am that he keeps projecting. As long as I'm with him I can't get free of it, and it's not doing me any good to be bombarded by it constantly.
I am trying to get him to talk about custody and $, assets, etc. Funny that I have to keep this moving along now. He ignores my mentions of it, my emails (claims he is too busy-- for what? To discuss your D's future?), etc. I will also be looking for some kind of divorce child specialist to consult by myself about D.
Anyone have any good book recs about co-parenting besides the Sandcastles book, which I'm already reading? Or websites that discuss better or worse visitation schedules for various age groups?
