I'm now healing and moving forward

[PEI]

Eric,

I am a better person for having known you. Thank you for being real, thank you for putting it out there and exposing yourself to the world for all to see and learn from.

I now understand that the true test for all of us is ……how you let go.

I have decided to let go with love, understanding and compassion.

Unconditional love in action.

Turning our attention on us….Have we all considered what our spouses endured? Have we all really started to change or kill those faults of ours? IMO, the only way that you can do this is to truly let go.

It's so true. It's not easy, but man is it true. I love your ability, no, insistence, on being honest about yourself and your role in your marriage. Your refusal to be the victim and your strength in the face of adversity will help continue to propel you forward on your journey. You've seen the silver lining. The gift that comes with the pain. The gift of you.

Hey…are they really mistakes or rather just not what I want. This is where unconditional love comes to my mind. It is when I realize that she loved me so much and for so many years that she did the best she could, we did the best we could. It was not all bad. It is when I realize that damn…I have changed. For this I thank her.

You could have taken this right out of my head. I do actually feel gratitude to my stbxh ... he said to me once, several mos ago ... "You are not the same person you were. PEI, do you think you would have done the work 6 years ago, when I almost left the first time, if I had come to you then?" And honestly, I couldn't say yes, not with certainty. Not if I'm really honest. I'd like to think I would have, to think I would have tried to look this closely at myself. But I was not the same person, hadn't yet had the experiences I have now ... so who knows. What I do know is this ... life is better when it's lived from a place of gratitude.

You know you are a great dad. And I know that someday, your children will fully understand and appreciate your selfless actions with regards to your handling of this situation. Give them time, it may not fully dawn on them until they hold their own children in their arms and experience that first overwhelming rush of unconditional, parental love. But trust me, they will see the truth in their own time.

((((eric))))
Peace
PEI