She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

Thanks Punkin, I am gun shy of the MC, ironically, after pushing for it as soon as I learned of A. However, I feel I need to follow through a bit. The drawback is that I keep hearing the same story over and over. I've attempted acknowledging her anger, listening only, defending myself, and of course trying to fix it. None of the approaches prevent the anger monster from coming back and rehashing the same topics over. This was true during our M when she couldn't let things go. During our separation, I've actively attempted all methods for letting her get it out, but it never goes away.
When we met, the activities we did surrounded going out. We would go for casual rides and the occasional kayak, but it was made clear she was making concessions and I "owed her one". We travelled much around the state with me playing semi-pro sports. She loved the group and the drink up after. But once we got older and the guys starting pursuing family and careers, we went our separate ways as the sport was the only thing we really had in common.
I searched to replace the rush of competition, but could never find things she would join me in. So I started triathlon, which she now castigates me for. It was personally rewarding but started driving a wedge between us. I was approaching middle age and needed to prove my viability.
When kids joined the picture, I needed to find things to wear out active bodies, build their own confidence and prompt family cohesion. I struggled. She seemed content to do this inside Target every weekend.