My Rollercoaster Continues

[2gthrButApart]

He's always talking about my attitude. He wants someone sweet.

I checked his email today n he had a draft note that said "as beautiful as a flower"

He doesn't compliment me' anymore so I'm sure it's for another woman. Maybe someone around his job. Maybe an emotional affair.

Do I bring anything up? I feel nauseous. He's not coming up for my bday but he's texting compliments to another woman.

[2gthrButApart]

Guess that's the new rush to file.

[2gthrButApart]

If they're done with us 100% why do they deny another person is involved?? He did seem excited to go home on Sunday.

[2gthrButApart]

It could have something to do with him wanting to name the baby Lilly.

Ugh I feel sick my mind is all over the place right now. I hate this. I just wanted a marriage and a family!!!! Yet people who have kids with everyone and anyone and sleep around on their spouses live happily ever after. Makes no sense. I'm fighting for what I thought was the right way in God's eyes. What's up with this picture?!! I'm a faithful wife since I've been 14 yrs old. Yeah I have a mouth on me' & I'm working on it, but I'm not a whore and I always put my family first so why can't I get one wish in life?!!

[2gthrButApart]

He claims "all of this has him mad at life and now he needs to work his a$$ off to make himself feel good for once"

MLC talk?? All of what has him mad? This is all his choice! He chooses not to get on AD's, he chooses not to fix the M. All his choices.

He claims he won't be ready to date for at least 2 yrs b/c he wants to focus on him and the kids ONLY.

I know I need to detach, I'm trying.....But what does all this mean??

Wait? Or just give in and let him have his way?

[2gthrButApart]

Is it a bad idea to ask him to postpone for about 6 months so I can save up for an attorney? I give birth in 3 months and can look for work once she arrives. I really don't want to use the only money I have saved on an attorney.

His excuse is I won't need a separate attorney if we just agree to everything ahead of time.

[TulsaTime]

Hey sweetie,

Relax. Just breathe.

Try to stop thinking about what he's doing. It is crazy making.

Just slow down a bit ok? Take care of yourself and those little ones. You and they are worth it. You sound like a great mom.

[seeking answers]

He files, and any good attorney you get will have him pay your attorney fees also. You do not want the D so let him do the work and pay. Just remember to protect yourself.

Would you please try something? Try to back way off. Let your H have so much space he chokes on it. Do not discuss your R with him at all. If he calls and starts in, tell him you have to go and will talk to him later. If he's there and starts in, walk away.

TT is right, all you're doing by thinking about this all the time is making yourself crazy. You can't do anything to stop your H from doing or saying the things he does. What you can stop is how you react to them. Consistently start doing the opposite of what you have been doing when your H starts in. Give it a good honest chance to work and see if it makes any difference for YOU.

[2gthrButApart]

The girls start school on 8/30. I'm going to contact IC's to begin counseling.

[2gthrButApart]

Hi TT & SA

I'm trying hard to breathe, relax, back off & get out of my head. I feel pathetic for still wanting my husband back so bad considering he wants nothing to do with me' anymore. I want to begin IC for me to help myself bc I feel I failed my girls. Had I stuck with the 180s and stuck with my changes he wouldn't have moved out in March. Had I listened to what he was really telling me & learned to control my temper their dad wouldn't be 2 hrs away. They love him so much & they're suffering. But when I tell him he gets mad. A couple of weeks ago he said "the more you make it about the kids the more I stay away". I just feel as their mom I need to protect them & they have so many unanswered questions and it's his job to answer them. But I won't step in anymore. I hope they learn to voice their concerns to him.
DD7 said "mommy I feel sorry for u sometimes" I asked why. She said "it just seems like u try so hard for some things to work but they don't work out for u" Crazy how a 7 yr old sees certain things.
She said "nothing ever works for u but I love u for trying" DD9 looked at Her funny.

I'm glad she knows I tried. But it breaks my heart at the same time.

Tomorrow is my bday. The 1st one in 14 yrs without him.