Well, you say you were saying you wanted a divorce (did she want one then too?).
Now she has moved out. You have time and space to do Lee stuff. She has time and space to do Mrs Lee stuff. Why not just go along with this and make the best of it for now?
What can you do now that you didn't have the time or inclination to do while she was there? Embrace what she has given you, let her figure out what she wants on her own, and control yourself instead of giving her control over your emotional state.
Want what she wants, but it starts by accepting where you are right now, and then you start doing things you can do on your own.
Yea I wanted one when the emotion was to high and I wasnt thinking clearly. Just like she does now. But then she calsm down and then it turns into 2nd chance and I thought about coming home.
Are you saying that since she's been out of the house that you have shown your bad temper and bad mouth? I thought that was back before the affair.
Lee, you think your stitch is unique and you don't see your M in the WAW syndrome or in DR (LRT). Until you realize that your W is exactly a walk-away and deal with it from the DR principles then you are not going to gain ground.
Why would you say she isn't a WAW? She had an affair and has even convinced you that the second time was emotional and not physical. She has walked away from you and your home. She has told you she doesn't want to be M to you, so why does that not qualify her for a WAW?
I would be glad to try and help you but you've got to try and see through your own fog and follow advice. As it is, you are still trying to control the stitch. You try to control her, you try to tell the C what to do, and you even wanted to tell the Pastor what to say to her. You haven't given everything to God b/c you are still in charge and as long as you do that...it won't work.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
FWIW, I think you may have the LRT confused with Going Dark. Going Dark is when you don't see her or talk to her and close her out. LRT is different but it does include backing away and detaching from her skirt-tail.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
You try to control her, you try to tell the C what to do, and you even wanted to tell the Pastor what to say to her. You haven't given everything to God b/c you are still in charge and as long as you do that...it won't work.
You are correct. I guess I look at it as to I know why we are here.(Both of us) There is no need to try and figure that out, unlike I a lot of people have to spend months trying to figure out what the problems are. I KNOW what is holding her from coming back. That is fustrating as hell.
FWIW, I think you may have the LRT confused with Going Dark. Going Dark is when you don't see her or talk to her and close her out. LRT is different but it does include backing away and detaching from her skirt-tail.
Im re reading the LTR as we speak chapter again, I missed somethings the 1st time.
I decided to order UFC 117 tonight and enjoy myself. My brother is coming over, and my 2 nephews. Its what we do. My wife use to love to watch it with me. I love maritial arts. I asked my wife yesterday if she wanted to see it. She said IDK. She went to a shower for her best friend today. And she is now hanging at her house. Im sure it will be a all day event. I asked if she wanted to hang with the kids and I before I made my mind up to get the fights. She and IDK, tell the kids I love them. I dont think she will show, but I guess I really dont want her too, it will give me something to do and not thinking about her for awhile.
Well. I goofed. I back off a lot. I got a text this morning asking if a girl I went to high school ( a friend on FB) called me or not yesterday from my wife. I said no and it was the truth. She asked for my phone record pass word, I gave a excuse of why I didnt have it, she bought it but ask me to get it. She started acting weird and I asked if she was filing and she said she didnt know. I ask if she was still willing to risk everthing she said IDK. I asked if she missed me and she said she didnt want to tell me. I jumped too soon. Then she got made and said yes Im filing next month and she didnt care what I did and hung up. I know she said it in anger, but now I got to start all over. I think she will eventually file and started to distance myself but that sucked me back in. We are suspose to go see my pastor together Friday. I do have a couple of female freinds texting my phone and there is nothing going on and its not the one she asked about, but if she sees those #'s she will flip. But I dont think I have a legit chance any way. Any advice?
Well another spin. She called and we were chating about a few no "R" things. She asked for my PW again. I delayed and I could tell she was getting angery. So I gave it to her. I asked her if she was having 2nd thoughts? She said YES. I asked if it was something to get excited about she said No. Then I asked if was second thoughting it enough and thinking about coming home? She said MAYBE. So of course that took back all the detachment I did. So then tonight I found out my sister talked to her for a long time last night about our situation and told her that she needed to think about it more and went over all the cons about hurting the family and not giving up and that she should atleast slow down and think about it and make sure becuase there are no going back etc. So I didnt feel good as I did about it but its still positive, I guess. I guess I need to back, back off again and lay low? Thoughts?
I asked her if she was having 2nd thoughts? I asked if it was something to get excited about I asked if was second thoughting it enough and thinking about coming home?
