L, I think what Pei is saying is that, and I may be wrong, but it's not like checking off a list of chores you have to complete before you get to go to the movies. Once you've put everything away, folded the clothes, washed the dishes, swept the floor, etc. "These are done now I'm through", type of stuff. They are chores that have to be repeated and refined over and over until you want to f*cking scream!
You are no different from the rest of us. At the beginning, we all wanted a date, time, hour, minute, second that this sh#t would be over and our life could get back to normal. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way. I myself have not had an opportunity to do any validation, as we are NC for the most part. He's had no "real" conversation with me. But I know that if and when it comes, it will be hard work, done over and over and over again each and every day forever amen.
There are times when I think it's not worth it. There are days I'm determined and strong and couragous about it. In the end, all you can do is say "Jesus take the wheel" and drive on.
