Sandi2, I've actually always had work, for a time it was day labor but your points are something I do completely agree with. For reasons you listed and how I communicated with her she lost the roll of wife and felt she was a mother. Money wise for me has been not caring if I have it or not(as long as the bills get paid I had no interest), but I understand that it showed me as being financially unstable and irresponsible.
I really am over the ring issue, that really was a blessing in disguise. I came to realize its not the fact she decided to not wear it, as it was the fact of how she responded to me and how belittling and stupid she was making me feel which provoked my reactions. However, had that not happened I really don't know if I'd be where I am emotionally and mentally in my life.
We do have different accounts, just how the bills were split( her decision to be fair to me since she's getting an almost free ride) Confirmation numbers on the lease and mortgage are mainly all we discuss. This helped tremendously from being so dependent on her.
Yes, she has been at her Mothers since June. While I understand she's no longer my wife, I really don't want the "old" wife back without change from her as well. If she stays the same I honestly feel I wouldn't want to try getting back together, I don't know if that's understandable or worded right. I'd like to see if something could transpire from us one day but I want to find out slowly and correctly.
I wasn't debating coming out of gray for a "r" talk. I was debating coming out to actually try to have general conversations and going from their. I don't want to appear to be pursuing which was why I came here for more insight instead of going blindly. Theirs people who've worn her shoes and others that can see things from a better angle than me and provide different ideas than those I have. If it appears that me trying to start communication would be pursuing for her at this time then I'd agree to stay gray. I do feel though their has to be a really fine line between her feeling pursued and me doing the same old(not communicating).
