My chihuahuas remind me of a WAS....the more my girls try to hold them and smother them the harder they fight to get away, biting and growling. I sit back and relax, and DON'T want them on me and they want to be all over my lap.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
My H says he feels hurt and mad and I just don't see it. He claims it's about the baby b/c it's just bad timing, he said it has nothing to do with me, b/c he's definitely done with me.
He said a couple of things that sounds like he felt insecure in the intimacy dept, and also that he felt unappreciated. I told him I always appreciated everything he's done for us, including up until today. He said I didn't do it in the right way. He feels used.
I don't know how to change this. Or if I can change it. I'm not sure what to do.
He seems to be enjoying me being dim and only contacts me via text to ask about the baby. Last night he did text me "good night" which he hasn't done in a while, but maybe it was to be polite.
I haven't answered the phone at all this week when he calls the kids, usually I'd answer and pass them the phone. So we haven't heard each other's voices since sunday.
Maybe it's mind reading, but I feel he is done, and he's glad I'm finally leaving him alone as he's wanted for months or yrs now.
I know, detach, focus on me and the kids...but what else can I do?
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
He said a couple of things that sounds like he felt insecure in the intimacy dept, and also that he felt unappreciated. I told him I always appreciated everything he's done for us, including up until today. He said I didn't do it in the right way. He feels used.
Is there any truth to any of this? Does any of this 'sting'? If so, how?
Originally Posted By: 2gthrButApart
He seems to be enjoying me being dim and only contacts me via text to ask about the baby.
Of course he's enjoying it, it's what he wants right now. You've finally let up the pressure a bit.
Originally Posted By: 2gthrButApart
Last night he did text me "good night" which he hasn't done in a while, but maybe it was to be polite.
I hope you didn't reply. There was no question there. Dim/dark means just that.
Originally Posted By: 2gthrButApart
Maybe it's mind reading, but I feel he is done, and he's glad I'm finally leaving him alone as he's wanted for months or yrs now.
Yep, mind reading. And you're buying what he's selling. I would bet that he truly doesn't know. He thinks he does.
Maybe he is done. Maybe he is not. Maybe the moon is made of green cheese. Maybe the USA will beat Canada in mens olympic hockey someday. Maybe, maybe, maybe ...
It doesn't change what you need to do.
Originally Posted By: 2gthrButApart
I know, detach, focus on me and the kids.
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
It does sting a little b/c we went to ONE MC session before he quit going, and she told me he doesn't feel appreciated. I tried to show him the best ways I knew how, but now he claims they were the wrong ways. Maybe I should have re-read the 5 Love Languages.
I don't know how I'd be able to show him now that we are separated.
As far as the GN text .... I did reply, but not right away :-/ He gets offensive with certain things and him putting himself out there and me not replying is one of them. Not all texts, he wouldn't care, but something like that he might get offended. I just said "Thanks, GN"
His mom had a heart attack on Wednesday, so I'm trying to be a little sensitive.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
When I ask if it stings I'm asking you to look for the truth behind what he says, if there is any. Is it possible that he didn't always feel appreciated? I can tell you that I did appreciate my stbxH, but did I always show it? Nope. Just the opposite a lot of the time. If there is possibly some truth to be found, and if it is reflective of something you want to change about yourself then you now have a place to start some self examination. We do the best we can with what we have at the time, but when we know better we can do better. Your journey is about examining yourself, learning about who you are at your core and honouring that woman.
PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
