She's pro-marriage. W felt a better connnection to her. Ultimately, she ended up saying that my W had to commit that she "wants to want to try to be in this marriage." If she says yes, we'll begin working on what she described as a long rebuilding process that will be very painful and hard. She wasn't sugar coating anything. But she did say that this would be a new M we'd be working on, and that the old one is gone regardless of what we end up doing. W didn't give an answer today because the T didn't ask for one - she told her whenever she was ready she could answer it.
So, I'm just going to lay low and not initiate any R talk, give her space, and try to 180. The thing is, my wife has specifically said in the past that she "wants to want to try". We'll see if she gives the same answer. I think that if we can get into MC with this new T we have a decent shot and making this work.
Leaving this unanswered, to me, isn't trying.
Deciding to work at a marriage is just that -- a DECISION. You don't "try" to make decisions; you MAKE them. You can "try" to get feelings back, "try" to feel romantically connected again, "try" to be more respectful and loving toward your spouse. But answering a question as to whether or not you're ready to make a commitment to "try to be in this marriage," to me anyway, is a DECISION, and leaving it unanswered leaves it as a "no, I'm not" in my book.
Then again, I always sucked at Piecing, so maybe you don't wanna go by me.
