Things That Matter

[ClingingToHope]

You can only control your time with them. Keep giving them a proud stand-up father and they'll gravitate your way.

I understand about that difficult dynamic. In my case, my D11 gets extremely frustrated with D8, who is ADHD. You just have to handle D8 differently, more with kid gloves.

D11 notices the difference. She also struggles because she tries, tries and tries to be a good big sister and D8 still bulldozes her.

Man, parenting is tough. I now find it EASIER to do it alone because I don't have to put up with STBXW's moods. I still wish we were a team and doing things together. But the last three years we were together we weren't really a team.

Are there any recourses on the school situation? Can she just move them to a different district without your input.

I'm lucky. At best, STBXW would move closer to her mother, who is picking up where STBXW used to lean on me. That's just 20 minutes north.

And if she did that I no longer would be able to help watching them after school. That would suck. I wouldn't see them every day, but it would mean I'd pick up an additional night with them. In mediation, she agreed if I couldn't see them after school then I'd get them two nights a week on my off weeks.

I'd end up having them six nights out of every 14 -- very nearly 50/50.

I also wish I'd done things differently in the beginning of the separation, but that's water under the bridge and I keep reminding myself of the name of another thread -- this is a marathon, not a sprint.