1. slept in this morning - not able to do much of that lately
2. Slept good last night - starting to do that more often, Guess I am feeling better about my sitch and our future
3. Altho no contact scheduled for this weekend (she wants to have some space) I am looking forward to our Dinner Date Tuesday - Going back to Longhorns for steak - her suggestion, also she restated her desire for us to do our own Thanksgiving dinner together sometime during the weekend after T-Day, and she responded positively to a suggestion for a weekend get-a-way right after Christmas
4. Still feeling great because she brought up topic of remarriage - even though it was to say she did not see it with in the next 12 months, if then. Even though she knows I want to get back together Just two months ago she was saying that she could not see us remarried again or if so it would be a very long time. (a great improvement)
5. It is a beautiful day out - so I will likely go to the zoo later (just for myself)
A very nice supprise - Cindy just called and we talked for about 40 minutes. just real plesant chit chat. But for her to call me after saying on Thursday night that we should not see each other this weekend is not too bad. She asked about my day and I told her I had gone to the zoo and took bunch of photos of the animals. Told her that almost all of the animals were very active today and I got some good photos. (should have gotten a lot more but - well I need more practice - some that should have been really good shots were nothing but blurs) I did tell her that the Tigers (which she loves) were playing just on the other side of the Glass in the cage and were so close that if the Glass was not there she could have not only touched them but hugged them (Assuming they would let her of course)
Although she did not say so, she seemed to kinda be sorry she did not go with me. Just the tone of her voice when I was telling her of my day and how much fun I had.
I am going to go see my Mom tomorrow and take her to Brunch. I am going to go to T-Day with her and we will discuss dinner menu etc. She also misses going with me to take mom to brunch - something we use to do once or twice a month.
Well - her call is a good positive for tomorrow over coffee.
just got back from Wal-mart, and other stores and got myself a new Christmas tree and set it up this afternoon. Then in looking at it I am realizing that I will be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas in my apartment.
I am thankful that she has done all the positives things since the Bomb and the D and I do see a light at the end of the tunnel. --- But --- Christmas and Thanksgiving will not be spent as a happily married couple.
She has also responded very positively to a weekend get a way for the weekend between Christmas and New Years. And also lots of other positives and, who knows, with another month of DB-ing under my belt she may decide to come off of her perch on the fence.
Well, I guess I need to have my own tree and not use any of my old decorations to let her know that I am making this apartment my Home and even thought she knows that I want us to get back together again, I am getting on with my life. When she came over for Dinner on Thursday before the B&B weekend she looked around my apartment and kinda started with a few tears and said she was proud of me for getting the apartment set up and looking like a home.
Although the next two months show the possibility for some good positives, I do see some times of feeling really down. I do not look forward to those times.
Oh well - posting here kinda helps too. I am glad I can let me feelings out here and not with her.
i am sorry your feeling blue. it's natural, so allow yourself those feelings.
all i can say as an outsider is that you have so much to be grateful for. YOU as a lawyer should know how these things can really turn out and your sitch is nowhere near how bad it can get.
so vent here like you did, but keep your upbeat attitude with her and you will win in the end
As soon as I hit the post button I started feeling better. and the tree does look good - even if I do say so myself - I have always liked an artificial tree - no water and it does not dry out - can leave it up longer - etc. And I had bought me a little gizmo that vaccuum seals leftovers - Single and in an apartment by myself I do throw away a lot of uneaten food. (I found something in the back of my refrigerator that I must have put there just after I moved in. I don't really know what it was - trash now) anyway I can vaccuum seal the leftovers and freeze them. Nothing like something new to brighen your spirits.
We do have another Dinner Date for Tuesday - Lets hope that this weekend of Space for her will help her to come off the fence. or at least stick a foot down.
OGDA, A lot of us will not be together as a married couple for TG... However, you really don't know that you won't be together for Christmas... I think you are assuming. Don't go there. Give thanks this thanksgiving for the blessings in your life. Not the least of which is your R with your W. You are inspirational... hang in there.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
We did just get a puppy before she dropped the Bomb (my wedding aniversary gift to her) and we are always talking about how old he is in doggy years so maybe she is referring to one year in doggy years. We can only hope
Really, I was doing that same math myself before, I just do not want to get my hopes up - you know, hope for the best but expect the worst.
