It is really tough today. As I left home and said goodbye to my dogs, I just could not hold it together. Had to run out quickly without W noticing my tears.
It is not even her any more that I'm sad about. I am sad for the rest of my life and family. I had some very big plans for the house this summer. Couple of new windows, new garage doors and new roof. All of it is on hold indefinitely now. The laws needs mowing...
Last night I was somewhat optimistic thinking that maybe the deadline for my decision is not necessarily for her to hear that I am moving out, but rather civil discussion what has happened to our R. But it is wishful thinking.
There will be more days like today. At least it's not raining outside.
