Alb,

Totally relate to the experimenting thing.

irish,

Lack of moral grounding is so true.
Why would a mom want to break a family up so
you can only see your young 3 sons every other
week?
Selfishness, Lack of responsibility, and loss of
spiritual life ( I see so much guilt in her )

This MLC stuff continues to just blow me away
every morning I wake up.

I can deal with the blaming me for everything even
though I know that this was not my fault. But
it is the kids future that is just so hard to
comprehend.

The behavior is so out of whack for the person we
knew for 99 percent of the marriage.

Thank God for this board. At least we have a place
to go where others are experiencing the same thing.
As fascinating as it is, you can't help but think
to yourself that maybe some of their evil behavior
has some truth to the way they feel deep down. Then who
in the he11 did we marry 20 some years ago?

So we try to rationalize and say they do all of this
because of the pain they are experiencing. That is what
makes this so hard for all of us.
If you can get your arms around the childhood issues
that are haunting them and causing them pain, you can
argue that a lifetime of this buried stuff has to get
resolved in a 3-5 year period for them to come out whole
from this is probably worth it. One thing is for sure,
this person is not the same one that you have the beautiful
memories with and planned to be with for your whole life.

If that person does not return a better person on the other
side of the tunnel, then we still have our true selves to
continue moving through life with.

I saw a figure of 80% get through this. That means 20% live
a life of never resolving these childhood issues? That is
sad. 2 out of 10 is still a lot of people in my book. I notice
that more men seem to go through this than women on this board.

My C says he sees more Women than Men go through this. This
leads me to be confused. Maybe women are a little more insightful
to do something about it like you two are and men just give up
to easily. You have to be intuitive to find yourself here on this
board to begin with don't you?


You both got me thinking this morning.