Joeli, I don't have a lot of time this morning but I want to say this to you. I don't know how long you have been without work, but I believe it places a stress factor in the M when the W is working and the H doesn't seem concerned about the bills (as you said you use to be). When she came home and saw you be a man of leisure, it problably planted a seed of resentment (even if she never let on about it). At some point, she begins to feel that you have stepped down as the leader & protector of the family and she must fill that spot. So, she did--but not without a price. Now, she feels more like your mother instead of your W.
Now here's the thing--when she told you she wanted a divorce and you seem to go along with how she felt, etc. The 180's were good but where you tried to open up conversation and do those emotional things that she once craved and needed from you...now seems to make you appear more weak than strong.
You really messed up over the ring thing. She wants a divorce, man. You except her to keep wearing a wedding ring after she declares the M to be over? Get over the ring.
You cannot change her mind by talking about the R. It drives her farther away. Your actions is the only thing that will make a difference.
As weird as it sounds, you have to stop thinking of her as your W and treat her as if she was your cousin.
You've got to work out two different bank accounts so that you don't have to run to her with every cent you need.
Has she moved in with her Mother or is she going to stay with you?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
