Had IC tonight, came home and shaved my head. Told the W who was I guess waiting on me to watch closer with her that I had to get up early and was going to bed. She asked me why I am being weird? We had a blowup this morning, and she says I am trying to be your friend and not make this ugly. We started R talk, we talked for quite a while, I told her I understood her feelings, I feel like we keep going back to these talks. She said she has noticed my changes (again) but doesnt think they will stick(again). She brought up this morning as far as my anger and such, I reminded her that what started the fight this morning was her accusing me of messing with her things, I told her you did not ask, you accused.
Either way I did apologize for some of the things I said this morning. We talked about a S instead of the D, I brought up the S. I told her I still dont feel that D is the solution. I agreed that we need time apart, and we discussed the option of a S, with a new rental house, and I would stay with a friend. The agreement would be based on something in writing acknowledging the agreement to the fact i am not abandoning the family.
We talked about MC. She said I think we should no matter how our M ends up. So at least she is agreeing on the MC right now. I did make some mistakes here, For some reason I get to a point of "letting go" then I go to C or church, and want to fight for M, swallowing my pride and being humble.
W brings up all the negatives in our M, and I cant help but saying it is easy to focus on those and not the good times we have had. She also says she goes back on forth on working on things, So she still waffles, could be good or bad I guess. I think she filed for D, because she did not see any other option. She told me tonight we have separated in the same house and nothing has changed. She says you tell me you want the M, but you dont act like it. Again i am stuck here, she says you dont invite me places with you, you dont include me when you plan stuff with the kids. So am I shooting myself in the foot> I told her you show me that you dont want to be with me why would I think you want me to invite you places with me? she cant answer.
I guess I need to include her so I can DB around her more often? All our sitches are similar but also different as far as what the WAW wants to see in us. I know some will post what i am doing is wrong. some will post the opposite. I guess I dont know where to go from here, I think I know what Rob will say dont know about puppy or Gucci, think I know what TH and Pin will say.....
